Purging and Philosophical Musings

Ever since the New Year, I’ve been really getting rid of all the junk around my living area.  It took me about 3 or 4 days, but I’m finally done.  I emptied drawers, emptied boxes, and threw out about 4-5 bags of trash (one giant one and a bunch of normal-sized ones).  I spent an entire day today shredding credit card applications and old bank statements.  It took me over 3 hours to accomplish this due to the shredder repeatedly overheating.  I have to say that the whole experience was extremely time-consuming, but at the same time very liberating.  I moved all my furniture and vacuumed in back or under all of them.  I threw out so many things that I’ll never use again and were most likely no use to anyone else.  I guess I do this every few years to get rid of all the junk I accumulate over that time span.  I really got into it this time, though.

I really feel that it is something everyone should do at some point, just to get some relief from their clutter.  Visual clutter can be mentally distracting and also stressful for some.  The only place that is still a bit cluttered is my desk, which has my laptop and all my vitamins on it.  When you take as many vitamins as I do, there’s always a problem of where to store them all.  I’m kind of exhausted from doing all of this the past few days, so I might not be as coherent as I usually am.  I know it’s been awhile since I posted here, but it’s been mostly a problem of motivation.  That and what do I have to say that hasn’t already been said?

I guess the most profound thing I can say about going through years of old items and documents is it really forces you to face yourself.  My past was all over this room and there were some things I’d rather not have to remind me of what has happened.  There are other things, however, that I found which represent great memories and experiences, like when I got to meet Jerry Seinfeld through Make A Wish Foundation.  I feel like once I shredded or threw out the not-so-rosy things that I had accumulated, it was sort of a release of those experiences.  Getting fired from two jobs, my whole Winthrop experience, and a few other negative memories were wiped away from my psyche by getting rid of those items.  I don’t want to go into great detail about the sort of things that I helped create for myself in the past.  As Steven Wright once said, “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried at all.” ;)

What I truly did was remove all the negativity from my living area.  Now it’s all things I can look at and feel good about, rather than be ashamed or disgusted by.  I had been in a real funk for awhile there and now I finally feel that I’m coming out of it.  This is probably the most motivated I’ve been since I worked for CVS.  It must have something to do with the New Year.  I guess what I’ve realized is that the sensory stimuli I provide to myself is very important.  Surround yourself with things that make you feel good, not with reminders of what make you feel bad.  I remember a time when I was highly motivated and was actually happy.  If I could take one thing back, it would be to not have done what I did to lose my job at CVS.  It was stupid, it was naive, it was just plain lunacy.  Four-and-a-half years on the night shift probably clouded my judgment and it led me to doing sketchy things with coupons that totally destroyed my livelihood.

That was nearly 1.5 years ago and I still couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of anguish that I caused for myself.  This purging cycle has helped get me through it.  I’ve messed up so many times in this life since my brain cancer in 2002.  I’ve never been able to think clearly ever since my 8.5 hour surgery to get that tumor off my pineal gland.  I have severe eye problems with movement and headaches.  I cannot exercise, for raising my heart rate causes my head to throb with excruciating pain.  It’s been a very hard 12.5 years and all I can say is that I’ve done the best I could.  It’s not easy being me and sometimes it hurts to know all that I’ve missed because of my condition.  I’ve just never felt the same and it’s so hard never being able to be your true self.  I’ve been working through these complex emotions by getting off my ass and purging these past few days.

It really did feel great to re-organize everything that I chose to keep into easy-to-remember places.  Now if I need this or that, there’s no digging through boxes of junk.  It’s exactly where I want it to be.  Everything felt so great after today’s final purge until I went to drive my car.  There was a very powerful smell coming from somewhere under the hood and it nearly made me sick.  What it did do is give me one of the worst headaches I have ever had.  I’m still recovering from it.  Tomorrow I’m going to have to get my car towed to Sears and find out what the hell is wrong with my car.  No dashboard lights are on, so I’m guessing it could be anything.  It’s things like these that really fuck me up.  For some reason, I always think the worst when it comes to my car.  I’m not sure what they are going to say, but it’s not like I have a lot of options here.  I can’t really buy another car right now.  Life sometimes just likes to reverse your momentum.

Sometimes I can feel my mind slipping into the abyss, not knowing where it will take me.  I just don’t fit in anywhere.  All these people on their cell phones all the time, with attention spans the size of milliseconds.  Most of the time when I speak to people, they aren’t completely listening.  Everyone is overstimulated and distracted with the newest technologies.  I’ve never been like that.  I’ve always been on for deep conversations and exploring the nature of reality, but there are so few people who aren’t so caught up in their own lives that it’s almost impossible to find people like me.  I guess that’s why I prefer solitude to being around people.  Most of them aren’t even informed about anything but their favorite sports teams and whatever the mainstream media says is true.  You can’t bring up things like “Sandy Hook massacre might have been faked,” or “the Oklahoma City Bombing was an inside job just like 9/11.”  You can’t talk about how the people in the shadows pull the strings and cause massive suffering at the hands of us, the public.  You can’t talk about manufactured wars, problem-reaction-solution, or the totalitarian tiptoe.  It’s frustrating.

As Ran Prieur once pointed out in one of his zines, it seems like “most people are just going through the motions waiting to die.”  They are no longer critical thinkers, explorers, nor inquisitive.  They are exactly what the elite want them to be: bought off by shiny toys and distractions while the top 0.1% make off with all the money and power.  There is so much going on in this world, in this reality, that we cannot even perceive.  For people to talk about “facts” and “what is” is one of the biggest errors you can make.  To assume that just because some authority says that something is a fact doesn’t make it so.  This whole fucking reality is an illusion, a dream anyway.  So, to assume that anything exists beyond this present experience is a giant leap of faith.  Even what you are perceiving in this current moment is simply neurons firing in your brain.

But nobody ever wants to ask big questions.  People always ask small questions, so they get small answers.  “What time is the game on?” or “Who are you going to vote for?”  It’s hardly ever, “What are we?  Why are we?  Who are we?  What is this reality and where did it originate from?”  I’m so sick of small talk, pretending to give a shit about things that don’t affect my life, and people who watch too much news and repeat it as gospel.  Don’t they realize that 5 corporations own all the television stations?  Don’t they know that there will never be a negative news story about GE because they own the most?  Don’t they realize that most TV and movies are propaganda and subliminal messages that are programming us for the New World Order?  Something like the Hunger Games, a movie where there is a super-rich population and everyone else (99.9%) is super-poor and have to serve the elite is simply a blueprint to where this planet is headed.  I guess what I’m trying to do here is illuminate the collective unconscious.  It’s supposed to be conscious.  It’s just a shame that most people would rather be ignorant of what is going on than truly face not only themselves, but the world that we truly live in.

Anyway, my neck and eyes are starting to hurt me, but I know at some point this article was about purging, so let’s purge the elites into oblivion so that we can all live as equals, rather than a subservient class to the 13 or 22 families that run this world primarily through banking and fear.

Awaken!! Summary and Thoughts

I recently watched David Icke’s latest 9.5 hour presentation at Wembley Arena in London, England.  It was quite an experience to say the least.  He’s really on the cutting edge of what is truly going on in the world and what reality truly is.  He’s persevered through ridicule, dismissal of his ideas, and an entire country (Britain) thinking that he had lost his mind.  But he’s come back from that in the past 10-15 years or so to become one of the greatest researchers in the conspiracy and nature of reality fields.  A quarter-century after he started his long journey, he presents the sum total of what he has discovered in his pursuit of the truth and of what is really going on in this so-called reality.

He covers so much ground that it is almost impossible to sum it up.  He starts his presentation with the explanation of the real nature of reality, which is holographic in nature.  Everything is a wave form information field and it only exists when someone decodes it (i.e. observes it).  He says that our lives are simply akin to virtual reality simulations and that the only reality is that we are infinite consciousness having an experience of a “point of attention” (i.e. Ethel Jones or Mark Whatever).  In our true form, we are infinite beings and that we are suppressed by an insidious force he refers to as the Archons, which was gathered from an ancient Gnostic text found in 1945 in a sealed jar.  It is believed to be from 400 AD, but written around 100 AD.  He goes through an astounding amount of evidence to support all of his claims.

One of the main points of his whole presentation is what he calls the Archon Hack and the interbreeding of these Archons with humans, but not on the physical level.  It was more of a distortion in the wave-form, which holographically reflect in the so-called physical world.  Humans were hijacked by this force through what he calls the Saturn-Moon Matrix.  He talks of how Saturn used to be our primary light source before all the great catastrophes in the Solar System.  He also postulates that Saturn is now being used to send frequencies to Earth, which are amplified by the Moon (which is anything but a natural body if you look at the evidence and books written by others about the Moon).  These frequencies trap the human consciousness into a very narrow band of experience. It brought us from a heart-centered society (intuitive, knowing) to a gut-centered society (emotion).  This hack of humans has caused the world we see today.

What these Archons feed off of is human low-vibrational energy or emotions.  Fear, depression, wars, etc. are the primary food source for this force.  They are like vampires who feed off of fear.  So society has been remodeled to create as much fear and low-vibrational states as possible.  The Archons envy humans because they have no way of creating things, they can only twist and warp what is already there (from Gnostic writings).  We are food to them, and they use hybrid bloodlines to enforce their bidding.  These hybrids have been around since what humans perceive as the beginning of human history (which is anything but if you look at the Earth before the hijack).  There is just so much information to get through that it may take many blog posts to truly explain all of it.  It is truly staggering once you connect all the dots.

The Moon is what wiped out the original civilizations that were here before the schism as Icke calls it.  It caused the Earth to turn on its axis, which as one can imagine, caused a global crisis.  When there is a global environmental crisis, no one is coming to save anyone.  It is akin to the flood in the Bible.  That was a story far older than the Bible, as it is seen in very ancient texts.  It allowed these Archons the ability to alter the remaining peoples and cause their hybrid bloodlines to spread all over the world, incessantly interbreeding with each other to keep the bloodline pure.  This was the so-called bloodline of royalty, where these psychopaths said they were allowed to rule over the population because their descendence from the Serpent God or other variations on that same theme.  There are so many representations of reptillian imagery in the ancient world, and even in the Vatican, there is a giant reptillian humanoid on the cross.  Seriously.  Reptillian and Grey are two of the forms the Archons take, but there are many others as well.  They control the world through their hybrids and those who unknowingly serve them.

They are described as robotic, ritualistic psychopaths with no empathy.  And their main goal is to turn our planet into their new home.  They are killing the natural world for their benefit.  They use inversion, like in Satanism (really Saturnism) where they use the inverted cross or the inverted five-pointed star or pentagram.  They are obsessed with death (inversion of life) and are the primary source of evil (live spelled backwards).  Their main goal is to get us all to become more like them, with microchipping and all these EMF fields around us, causing an electromagnetic soup that we also have to live in.  This is simply the hack within the hack.  They also want to get us off the land so we are forced to live in mega-cities in units that are about 30 feet by 10 feet for each family (although they do want to break up the family unit, too).  This is all done under the guise of Agenda 21, where the farce of global warming will be used to abandon private property and we’ll all be forced into these human settlement zones.

It’s amazing when Nikola Tesla created a way to make free energy that we keep using toxic energy sources.  Why is that?  The Archons want to reduce the population down to around 500 million.  It is simply a way to make us easier to control.  The Club of Rome is the secret society that decided to use environmental devastation as the reasoning for us giving even more of our power away.  They demonize CO2, which is essential for life.  What’s that?  The Archontic inversion again!  Let’s take something that everything needs for life and demonize it!  Textbook Agenda 21.  This is but a small portion of what David talks about in this nearly 10 hour talk.

So, how do we get out of this, you ask?  It has a lot to do with raising your vibration and communicating with this world through the heart (which allows you to go beyond the realms of time and space) instead of the gut (emotional reactions).  Also, non-cooperation with the system is key.  We are basically being used to build our own prison and the only way to stop it is to stop cooperating with an evil system.  We all need to come together, with open hearts, and simply all say no to whatever terrible new law is passed to take away more and more of our freedoms.  We just need to realize that we are all one and are all unique expressions of infinite consciousness.  That is what the Archons fear the most, so they divide and rule us by race, religion, social status, etc.  If we all put that aside and realize that we truly are all one, nothing can possibly stop us from reversing this world back to the way it once was.

The world I’m talking about is a world where we realize that we are in this world, but not of it.  We realize the interconnectedness of everything.  We realize that everything is conscious and that we DO have the power to get out of this hijack as long as we stay in high-vibrational energy and emotions.  Then the predator has no more sustenance.  Don’t bother watching the news or any TV.  Bill Hicks once said watching television is like taking a can of black spray paint on your third eye.  And the media is there purposely to create more and more fear.  It creates a worldview where people are even scared to leave their house on some occasions.  We should express joy, wonder, empathy, compassion, courage, etc.  Never let seemingly negative things drag you down to the level they want you at.  If we all awaken to the fact that the world needs heart energy and oneness more than anything else, there will be no stopping us and something like Heaven will emerge on this planet.  We will once again evolve into the beings we are meant to be.


Working on Creating the Subjective Reality Website

I’d better launch this thing soon.  I really have to pour my heart and soul into this.  I have to work on it minimum 3 hours a day, 7 days a week.  No excuses.  It is going to be tremendously hard work, but it will be worth it.  I can literally design a site I’m passionate about, and make decent money from it.  Just look what Leo at Zen Habits has done with a simple philosophy.  The only limit I’m going to have is eye strain.  But putting in 3 hours, spaced out throughout the day and night, shouldn’t be a problem for me.  I should start getting up no later than 9 AM, so that I can get at least 2 hours in before noon.  I’m thinking the name of the site should be  called Subjective Reality Central, unless that name is already taken.  I want to cover everything that relates to subjective reality, and this is a niche that I don’t think will be too saturated.  I’ll be examining a lens from which you can view reality, where you will have no fear, and nothing to hold you back except your imagination of what is possible.  I wish I could use David Icke’s tagline:  “Exposing the dream world we believe to be real.”  Maybe something like, “Life is a dream, you are the dreamer, and it’s time to wake up.”  Or I could use Bill Hicks’ tagline, at the top of every page.

This is pretty much a bottomless wellspring of posts.  I could write about this stuff all day, so I think I’ve got a way to totally create a website I feel great about, and use ads and affiliate links to generate income.  I am going to create an online business that I can feel good about.  One where I do my best work.  I’ve done enough research on it to be qualified as almost an expert.  I just need to focus more on living what I talk about.  If life is a dream, you should have no fear whatsoever, except the biological fight or flight response.  There is nothing to fear but fear itself.  And if this truly is a dream world, you don’t even have to fear that.  I just have to get myself to totally believe it, 100%.  And I also have to believe I will succeed 100%.  Sure, it may be hard work, but I need to dedicate myself fully to this endeavor.

I just need to work extra hard at it.  There’s no substitute for hard work.  I have to challenge myself with this site, make it top-notch, with quality content.  I’ll definitely have to change my diet for this.  I need to stick to a routine as well.  I know that if I don’t, I know it may hurt me in the long run.  I’ll need to expand my consciousness as far as it will go.  I need to read Steve Pavlina’s experience of his 30 day trial of subjectivity.  I’ll obviously need to do one of my own as well, while creating this site.  I’ve got plenty of article ideas, up there, and I’ll have plenty more before the site is finished, if it ever is.  I intend to add to it continuously for a matter of years, to create the most comprehensive SR site out there.  I have to be willing to do the hard work that it will take to get this site off the ground, and then I can add to it preferably at least 3 times a week.  If not more.  I’ve really got to embrace this lens, and take it as far as I can before I can fully comprehend the implications of going down this road.  I’m going to cite sources where necessary, although most of them will come from maybe 5 or less places.  Maybe more, as time goes on.

Buddha believed this was how reality was, but Buddhism is full of unnecessary rules.  They’ve got precepts, you have to be a vegetarian, and a lot of other limiting beliefs.  But isn’t that the same with all belief systems?  The only one that can feasibly encompass all of them is subjective reality and the realm  of quantum physics.  I can even sit in my chair in the living room to write these articles, as that will most likely be the best place, seeing how typing here is bad for my neck.  At least there I have a neck rest.  Subjectivity encompasses objectivity, as it fits inside the whole dream philosophy.  When you are dreaming, are you aware of anything outside the dream?  No. But you believe the dream is real.  And even if you die in the dream, you wake up alive in your bed.  We literally all are the dreamer, not the dream itself.  The dreamer is consciousness, and the more conscious we get, the more validation we get of this dream world being, in fact, a dream.  Hell, even Jesus talked about this.  So did Buddha, as I mentioned before.  I have a real good feeling about this.  I just have to build it, market it, which SBI will help with that, and people will come.  I’ll sell books about it through affiliate links, and Adsense is a no-brainer right here.  I could become affiliates with Amazon, other online book retailers, and people who produce audio and video of this type of material.  This should be a fun and exciting ride!  I’m certainly looking forward to it.

Full Spectrum Lighting

About 10-12 months ago (can’t be sure of the exact date), I took the plunge and ordered 6 full spectrum light bulbs, which mimic the 1500 waves of light that come in through the sun.  I have to say that these lights have been a wonderful godsend for me and I realized what poor quality light I was living with before.  Not only that, but it allowed me to experience most of the benefits of the sun, even on cloudy days, because these bulbs come about as close as you can to real sunlight.  Everything in my room where I put 2 bulbs appears sharper and I’ve noticed a marked reduction in eye strain, and a much better mood while in my bright room.

It’s such a phenomenal change that my room has to be at least 3 times brighter than any other room in the house.  This especially helps on gloomy days, especially in the winter months.  Most of us need about an hour of unfiltered sunlight per day, which I would guess less than 10% actually get.  This condition, known as sunlight starvation, can lead to depression, agitation, sickness, a vitamin D deficiency, and many, many other problems.  This is why sunlight and Earthing (walking or sitting barefoot on the Earth) are two of the most important practices you can use for health.  The only problem is that the sun is not out every day, at least not consistently.

I try to get sun as much as I can, during hours when the sun is at least 50 degrees above the horizon (very important for vitamin D).  But there are times of the year, even here, where the sun never gets to that point.  Therefore, I won’t get all the sun’s beneficial wavelengths during some of the winter and fall months.  The sun will still be beneficial, but you won’t get as much vitamin D, so it is important to have another light source that supplies UVB rays, which helps your body produce vitamin D.  That’s where these bulbs come in.

My only recommendation is not to use more than 3 of these bulbs in one small room.  If I stick 3 of these bulbs in my ceiling fan, it becomes way too bright for me to handle it.  It is like being in the sun for too long without sunglasses.  But then again, it may be fine for you, as I have some eye problems from when I had brain cancer 10 years ago.  My pupils don’t exactly react very quickly, so an increase in brightness for extended periods of that magnitude causes me problems, but might not be any problem for you.

In conclusion, these bulbs are a great SUPPLEMENT to getting real sunlight year-round, but not a replacement.  Nothing beats pure, unfiltered sunlight for at least 20 minutes a day, without sunscreen or too much clothing on.  Ideally, you should get 50% of your body exposed to the sun every day.  And on those days when it is impossible to get that sun, you’ll have the bulbs as a backup, and even using them year-round is not a problem, as they are not the sun, so don’t have any skin cancer-causing rays.  This white-blue light is essential for proper brain function, and immune system health, so give them a try and see how you feel.



I believe that one of life’s greatest pleasures is the freedom to be nobody but yourself.  The problem is that society and other things try to condition us to be something but ourselves.  We all become like robots, all thinking the same thoughts, all feeling the same limited range of feelings.  The education system turns us into obedient worker slaves.  The media instills fear and rage in us, so that we feel it is a dangerous world, so best not stand out.  We live in a high-anxiety, high-stress culture, and we’re all measured by how much stress we can take, which only shuts our brains down to a significant extent.

The fear and stress that is thrust upon us by every channel you can think of is very daunting, and can really get to you.  We are all slaves to the culture we were born into, and there’s no escaping it, at least not completely.  You can never truly, fully drop out.  The people who control the world have ensured that by exterminating all the indigenous peoples throughout the world over the centuries.  Either that, or they forced them into our way of life, and now they are suffering greatly.  Before these people were exterminated, there was unparalleled freedom on Earth, where we could do as we pleased, as long as it didn’t hurt anyone else.  Before civilization, we were wild creatures, foraging for food, which was in abundance everywhere you looked.

There was also a time when us humans knew the true nature of reality, that life was simply an illusion, and that we were one consciousness, everything included.  Then there were a bunch of cataclysms on the Earth, which caused so much upheaval, and destroyed every people that lived on this planet, leaving us all with a clean slate, but damaged in so many ways.  In an ancient Zulu legend, the Earth turned over onto its current axis, which can only happen when a foreign body causes it to do that, which I would suggest was the Moon being brought by entities that wished to control us, and make us forget who we truly are.  They’ve created a world that suits them, not us, and they feed off of our negative energy, mainly fear.  They reside just out of human sight, but close enough to have temporary appearances in this reality.  They interbred with ancient humans, and created what is called hybrid bloodlines.

Now, these hybrid bloodlines control the physical world, but they are controlled from a place just outside of this frequency band.  They, as early as 40,000 years ago, claimed their right to rule, based on their descent from the “serpent God.”  There are ancient drawings of serpents and snakes everywhere in the ancient world, and there is no refuting that.  There are many drawings depicting the interbreeding with humanity, and there are still symbols of it everywhere today.  Just look at the AMA’s logo.  Two snakes coiled around a cross or something like that.

Symbolism is very powerful, and that’s another tool they use to control us.  Take major sporting events for example.  In the Super Bowl, where hundreds of millions of people watch every year, there are so many Illuminati symbols in the halftime shows that it gets to be incredibly obvious.  At the 2012 Olympics, there was massive symbolism relating to the bloodlines and the hidden hand that runs this world as it is today.  Symbols are information, and when you focus on information, you take it in on a subconscious level.  We are in a state of mass hypnosis here, and the only way out is through our own consciousness and information that will help us see all the subliminal control mechanisms we have around us.

The rabbit hole goes very deep, and there’s always more to uncover.  But the more we know, the better off we are.  That is how we will become free again.  Knowledge truly is power.  Who among us ever asks the big questions?  Who are we?  Why are we here?  Who ever comes up with a satisfactory answer?  If you understand quantum physics, it will tell you that the world is primarily subjective, a dream within a dream.  We are living in an artificial reality created by these entities, primarily called the Archons by the Gnostics, whose Library of Alexandria was burned down by the Crusades.  99% of their information was destroyed throughout the years, and it wasn’t until 1945 in Egypt when a peasant found a jar sealed from roughly 1500 years ago that the Gnostic belief system was fully understood.  Luckily, no one destroyed that before it got out.

Also, Don Juan Matis, a Central American shaman, talks at length about these entities, and how they are mind parasites, and feed on our fear and other low-vibrational emotions.  And these parasites love to feed off of the energy of children the most, because they are the most full of life, especially before puberty.  Why do you think all ancient cultures sacrificed “young virgins?”  That was code for children.  Imagine how terrified the child was, and how much fear energy was being created.  It must have been like an all-you-can-eat buffet for these so-called “gods.”  And these hybrid bloodlines love to drink the blood of the sacrifice.  That is also well-documented in history.

All I can say is that I am eternally grateful that all this information is coming out.  Finally, we have an idea of what is truly going on in the world, and we need to take extreme steps to save it.  We need to realize we are truly in control.  We outnumber these people/entities at least 100 to 1.  I would guess much more than that, to be honest.  We just need to refuse whatever the control system tries to throw at us.  We need to say NO to microchips, smart grids, smart meters, and anything else that reduces our power, while simultaneously making us more dependent on the government and society at large.  We obviously need a consciousness shift for this sort of “radical” change.  We must remember who we are, infinite consciousness/possibility.

For true freedom, we must not be violent.  You don’t fight for peace, you peace for peace.  Just say NO, with a smile on your face and a jump in your step.  If the President or the Prime Minister comes on the TV and says, “We’ve had a talk, and we’ve decided to do this,” what if millions of people said, “We’re not allowing it?”  Where’s their power then?  Their power is simply in our acquiescence.  That is the only reason such a small quantity of people can control the world, because we are conditioned to believe we have no power to stop them.  Bollocks!

We are infinite possibility having an experience.  We have been cut off from Source, or Consciousness through very deliberate measures, and that has eroded our freedoms, day by day, year by year.  And I think it’s about time we reclaim our true freedom to be who we truly are, and to experience our full potential as humans, and as consciousness.  We used to be so much more than we are now, and we have that ability to reclaim that higher level of awareness, simply by realizing we all are one, there is no separation between us and them, and that we have the power to create heaven on Earth, if only we keep raising our consciousness.  This will require listening to one’s heart, not one’s gut.  Connect through your heart chakra, because that is the way to accessing consciousness.  We all need to try and get as many people as possible to do this.  Once the tipping point is reached, the control system won’t stand a chance.