Give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change. Give me the corage to change the things I do not like. And give me the wisdom to know the difference between the two. I guess that is some prayer from either Christianity or Cahtolicism. It goes something like that. And it is a very powerful quote, as it talks about acceptance vs. denial in a way that I believe we all can relate to.
We all have things in our lives we do not like or wish to change. There are some things we have power to change, while others may or may not be within reach, at least at this point in time. The wisdom to know the difference is a journey in self-exploration. We have to look at ourselves objectively sometimes to see what it is we should change, if anything, as life is an ongoing process of evolution. There are some things you cannot change about yourself or your environment, at least at your state of awareness. There are others you think you cannot change, but could with some hard work and perseverence.
If you are six hundred pounds and do not think you will ever lose the weight, that you just have to accept yourself the way you are, I encourage you to look at all the experiiences you are missing out on because of your large stature. Look at how you have to buy two ariplaine tickets if you would like to fly. Realize that anything is possible. And you may not be able to change the things you want right now, but as life moves on, these things could very well become possible. I have heard the story a thousand times before, “The doctor said I would never walk again. But here I am walking.” Just because the odds are stacked against you, that does not mean you have to succumb to apathy and learned helplessness.
And do not deny what you are getting either. You have to accept the truth in all parts of your life. It is only when we accept the truth that we are able to grow further. It does not make sense to lie to yourself on a consistent basis to hold up this facade that has a very weak foundation to it, eventually crumbling. You lower your awareness when you lie. It is obvious that the last statement is true because you are trying to convince yourself that something you are not experiencing is true. So the first step to acceptance is truth, and the second step to changing or choosing to accept your situation is coming to terms with it, and letting it be a part of you once again.
No matter how bad or good a person you are, self-acceptance and self-worth are to big keys to a fulfilling life. When you fully and unconditionally accept yourself, you become more open to possibilities to improve yourelf. It does sound a bit counter-intuitive, but because you accept yourself no matter what, you are no longer afraid to try the activities you were previously fearful of doing. Unconditional acceptance is the answer, but if something is not the way you wish it to be, go ahead and move towards changing it.
As a personal example, in my life, I no longer find my job interesting or fulfilling. I am so close to muttering the words, “I quit,” but the repercussions from my family may be something like this, “You can’t quit your job until you have another one.” Well, moving towards not having a job is nice, at least for me, as I intend to start a business in the near future, although the full details of that business are not yet on paper. I intend to cut down on my consumption in order to build up money to start this business eventually. The only thing that is really holding me back is the people around me, the people who will tell me that I will probably fail, and that may be true, but the experience will be worth it. I have to learn to let go of outcomes, which I am now practicing and will practice for the remainder of my life. Attachment to anything is the root of all suffering anyway. Make no appointment and you’ll have no disappointments. Lower your expectations, but still do whatever it is you want to do. Accept the outcome, and move on from there. That is all I have to say.
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Preparing for change in any area of your life is a phase. Why don’t you quit listening to voices of people who compel you to doubt yourself? You may choose to feel overwhelmed by your present conditions. Yet, realize the circumstances that seem to depress you now are the same roots of a new beginning that you have the power to create. The only way this will happen is if you have the right attitude. You may not yet be where you wish to be in life, but don’t waste energy on self-pity. Shake that off. Learn from each step. Somebody somewhere would trade places with you anyday. There was a time when you felt more enthusiastic about your life. You can restore that feeling. It all starts by a decision inside yourself.