Running Around in Circles

Lately I feel as if I’ve been running around in circles. I feel like my days are becoming more and more alike and less diverse. I took an extended break from writing in this blog, mainly because I needed to rejuvenate my mind, body, and spirit. I tried and tried to write an article for days on end, but I just could not get enthusiastic enough to continue. I ended up cancelling maybe ten or so entries that I did not deem worthy of being posted. I was thinking, “Maybe I’ve run out of ideas,” but I knew that wasn’t the case. Eventually I would find something else to write about. And I guess this is it. I think the whole problem was that there was not really a topic I saw in the last two weeks that really inspired me to write a post. I mean, even with all those topics out there, nothing was really sticking. But life goes on and this blog is not me. It is merely an expression of ideas formulated in my consciousness. And it is a wonderful outlet of expression that I am truly grateful for.

I no longer strive to keep up with any of the A-list bloggers because, seriously, I am not an A-list blogger. I am growing as a blogger, becoming better as a person, and these occurences are worth more than some status gained from the work I do here. This blog is just as much for me as it is for everyone else. It helps me through my tough times and allows me to express joy through the good times. I do keep another journal on Live Journal, but I do not allow it to the public. It is much more personal than this one. Writing is a joy of mine and being able to write something here and press the “Publish” button and send it out into the Internet, into the world, for anyone to read, that is astonishing in my opinion. The fact that we have this sort of technology is amazing and I am just glad I am able to put it to good use.

So, I was sitting around, wondering how much I should post, how long my posts should be, and all of that technical mumbo-jumbo, and I had a flash of insight. It was nothing remarkable in an objective sense, but subjectively, and intuitively, it made sense to me. I post when I feel like posting, I write until I feel like not writing anymore, and I write about what is on my mind. I will very scarcely edit or revise, mostly because it is important to allow my thoughts to be. Besides, I am not turning this in for a grade. I am just doing this because I want to. And it is my blog, so whatever I wish to do with it, it is my choice. I’m kind of wondering where I am going with this blog, how I want to expand, or contract. It all depends on how far I can get with this framework. Sure, it would be nice to develop an audience of over one million per month, but I do not feel I am ready to accept that amount of volume. I need to grow further.

The thing that is funny is that everyone has a blog now. I mean, it is becoming as common as having a cell phone, or a television. Blogs are popping up everywhere, and most of them are very personal in nature, while some are very broad in the topics they explore. I would love to read all of them, but I feel it would most likely be a waste of my time. I do read some blogs, but in moderation. I try to limit the amount of time I spend in front of the computer or television, but sometimes it just gets to me and I spend hours reading a blog I discover by accident. There is such a network of blogs, links, and all of those other technical stuff that is is so broad and amazing. One blog links to another blog, and that blog links to a third blog, and that third blog links back to the first blog to complete the circuit. The whole world defined by blogging. A new culture.

Something about writing here just feels right to me now. It’s hard coming up with specific topics to comment on daily and taking an intuitive approach may help me get back on the right track. My intuition, my instincts, know what is best for me, and the more I learn to trust them, the better off I will be. I am not here to impress anyone, or for any hidden agenda, I am just here, in the flesh, writing until my mind shuts off and surrenders to the beckon call of sleep. This is real. But at the same time, it is surreal. It’s hard to explain, so I will leave it up to your imagination. The world awaits you. This was fun. Until next time…

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2 thoughts on “Running Around in Circles

  1. As a reader, I would much rather read something written with inspiration and joy, than just some chatter meant to fill up a page! You are wise to only publish when the topic fascinates you. Keep on this way, (especially starting so young) and practice and polish your style, and someday you will be a famous writer. Don’t worry what the rest of the herd is doing. Stay tuned in to those flashes of insight (aren’t they amazing?!) and let them lead you. Your work is very good.

  2. Whenever you reach a significant milestone in life, you may not realize how significant the implications will be. Each day offers opportunities to add new building blocks. Why question messages that you send yourself? You send messages to yourself about experience where you live and learn. Keep up the great self-reflection. Its uplifting to share your process.

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