Tying Up Loose Ends

I never knew how to control spam until now with the Askimet thing that they have as a feature on WordPress to begin with. Thank God for that. I was so tired of receiving hundreds of emails each month telling me that I have more spam comments to moderate. Whew! That was one hell of a bad thing. I could not believe the amount of spam that comes through this website. It had to be almost one hundred a day. Those people or those machines that distribute it must work real hard to keep their spam going. I’m just glad that now I can concentrate on writing.

I’ve been having some technological problems with my computer as of late. One of the big problems is that every few minutes, this machine freezes for like two to five seconds, then again two seconds after that. Then it is okay for about five minutes, then it does it again. I am looking into whether or not I have viruses on this computer and I tried downloading the Ad-Aware, but it always displays an error message halfway through the scan, which is getting pretty irritating because it supposedly detected over 100 adwares before it kept crashing. I need to do something about these problems, and I believe actually buying one of these virus programs could help quite a bit. Rather than using the free watered-down version, why not spend the fifty or so dollars and really make sure this machine is working to it highest potential. Why should I keep suffering with a machine that is working well below its optimal level because of numerous adware, spyware, and other viruses? I figure, it is a win-win situation.

So yesterday I went to my Transfer Orientation at Coastal Carolina University. I am not in the mood for doing links, but I will put one for CCU. It seems like a really nice school and I think I will love the professors I have. My advisor is great and another teacher, this Indian guy from India who has the Apu voice exactly is going to be one of my teachers. It is going to be a fun year. Two people from my work were also at the Orientation and it at least made me feel a bit better. Going at it alone is so much harder than going at it with people you know. After some really tough times, I feel like my life is finally going where it needs to go.

After winning my comedy contest, I finally have the first three dates that I will emcee for the comics that are performing that night. They are: July 9-11. I still have to pick my other four, but they will come in due time. My brother and grandparents are going on a cruise and they will miss my first three sessions, but if I make sure I get them there the other times, I will have much more moral support and all of that good stuff.

My car is working fine as well. I just filled it up for around $25. Not bad if you ask me, at least not at this point. I had about a quarter or a tank in there when I decided to fill it up, so $30 dollars seems like a reasonable amount to spend to fill up my tank. It will only be probably once or twice a month anyway, the way I drive and how far I go on a regular basis. However, commuting to CCU five times a week could prove to bring my mileage up to about over 150 a week or maybe more, but that is fine, at least at this point in my life. I’m going to need to become accustomed to travel if I wish to become a professional stand-up comedian.

On a side note, I finally decided it is a good idea for me to become a teacher. A math teacher, that is. I mean, I love math, I am good at teaching it to others, and I have the kind of personality that can’t help but get up in front of others and show them what is going on. This is kind of funny because I am not really a social person per se. I am more of someone who may say a few really insightful or funny things in a conversation, but I am not the center of attention, unless I am up on that stage. It may have something to do with being higher up than everyone else that makes me into this performer. Who knows?

Anyway, I now know where life will take me, at least to some extent, and that sort of vision is something to keep me going. I have so much going for me now and I feel like I can accomplish anything that I want. I am looking forward to it all. Have a nice day and I will be back momentarily, although I cannot say when.

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What Next?

I felt like I needed to belt out another blog entry today. It just feels right at this point. I am feeling really good this week. I was in the paper. I have achieved ‘celebrity status’ among the people I know and the people that I will come to know. And it is all because I believed in myself and I caught a glimpse of my own greatness. The only regret I have is that I could have done this sooner in my life. I guess now that I know who I am and where I come from and what I am about, I can now start to move myself further and further towards my dream. If you do not have a dream, a purpose, a plan for this life, then why bother? And this is a plan that fulfills me at this point. Hopefully, I can become successful enough where I can do this sort of thing for a living, stand-up comedy that is.

I found it kind of funny how most people at my work told me they would never expect me to be a comedian. That kind of makes it even more worth it because that is part of how I go about my act. I just surprise the hell out of the whole audience. I go up there and do what it is I do and I get results, at least to this point, and I intend to go further and further into this “career choice” until I become one of the better comedians out there. It would be nice to get a few specials eventually.

It is going to be a good, long road and I am ready for it. It means a lot to me that I accomplish this goal. It is something to work towards, a pinnacle, a zenith. I had to put that word in. I want to see how far my potential can stretch, how far I can go, how wonderful this life can turn out to be. Getting myself into the state where I believe the whole world is conspiring to make me successful is something that would be nice. I need to put in the work and effort to make this comedy thing work out to the best of my ability. It will take hard work, perseverence, and a little luck to get where I want to be.

At least I am on the path. The path towards my goal, and the path itself has to be just as rewarding as the destination. That is the key. If I want to get somewhere that will make me happy in the future, I sure as hell better be happy now as well. At least I enjoy the process. I love coming up with the jokes, and I love it when I get this ‘aha’ moment that allows me to write a joke and get the wording perfect. It takes a ton of effort to do this consistently. And I would not have it any other way. That is what makes doing this sort of thing rewarding. Putting in the time and hard work and then seeing it pay off onstage is something that you cannot buy. It is something you have to work at.

Anyway, I can’t believe how wonderful the Magic Bullet Blender is. I got one from my grandmother, who bought it for me. It is so great how easy it is to make fruit smoothies and other great drinks. And no, I am not being paid to say that. I am so happy that I finally got something that makes it easy to consume fruit in large quantities without chewing. This is how wonderful my life is going right now. With comedy and the Magic Bullet Blender at my side, how can I possibly go wrong? A sense of humor is worth twice its weight in gold.

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Winner of Comedy Contest

Well, I guess I showed them last night. I put down a very powerful set and I beat the other ten comics who made it to the final round. It was probably my best set to date. I went on third, and I think that helped me a lot because I hate to wait when doing my set. I have it all ready to go, and then they want me to wait. My prizes were numerous, which is amazing. I got like six or seven $25 gift certificates to various restaurants and nightclubs, and a bottle of wine (kind of ironic, seeing how I do not drink). What was funny about this is that I was the youngest competitor there (at 21) and had only been to a comedy club once for the preliminary round. But I threw down my material, which had been four years in the making, no lie. Writing jokes takes a tremendous amount of time and it’s amazing how much effort went into this win, but the effort was well-worth it. I also get to emcee there for a week, which means I will have to clear my work schedule for that. I need to pursue my dream, not get caught up in the supermarket way of life.

I am so glad I won, but even if I didn’t win, I would still be grateful for the opportunity and the experience. I think it is so great that places like the Comedy Cabana allow young comics to express themselves in front of a live audience. I mean, it’s kind of funny how they only gave us from five to seven minutes because that is all I had anyway. I probably went less than that, but I had over 25 jokes, and around 20 or so good laughs, and three or four applauses, loud applauses. Maybe more, it was all a blur up there onstage. Then when you get offstage, you have some idea on how it went, but you’re not completely sure. I remember I got so many really good laughs, the audience loved me. So I almost knew for sure, judging by the audience response on the other people, that I had to be the winner. If I wasn’t, it wouldn’t be my fault, but the judges just did not like my style.

I saw a few other comics who I did enjoy that night and I thought they were very good. They just did not have the volume of laughs per minute I did. A lot of them told stories and one guy even announced his canidacy for the president. I feel like one of them would have won if I hadn’t showed up. It was weird how I found out about this competition. I kind of was online somewhere, and just happened to hear about it from some message board, and immediately went to the Comedy Cabana Myspace page., where I asked when and where I could sign up and then on May 21, I did well enough to make it to the final round, and then finally won the final round.

So where do I go from here? I believe this is some sort of turning point in my life, where I know now that I am at least a good comedian, who is good enough to beat some of the comedians who have been performing for more than ten years. If that does not say something about my material, my timing, and my delivery, nothing does. And it wasn’t so much about winning or losing. I just wanted to do the best job I could, and I did. I did something many comedians dream of, and now I know I need to start entering more and more comedy competitions, performing everywhere I can, at anytime that’s possible. Experience is the best teacher, and I do not want to be the one who’s cutting class. And it wasn’t just my material that people laughed at. I paced back and forth, up and down the stage, and then when I did my joke about how sometimes I wander around aimlessly, I got the biggest applause of the night. And I hadn’t even reached the punchline yet. “But the worst part about that is finding your way back.” So I really had the audience on my side by that point, and i finished with a bang.

The emcee really liked me and told me that I was even funnier than last time, which he said was really “fucking” funny. So, I guess I will have to update my Myspace page to include: “Winner of Comedy Cabana’s Open Mic Comedy Competition.” At least now I have something to put on my resume. Once again, the only negative that came from the club was the smoke. No one in my immediate family has somoked since I was alive, so I guess I am just not used to smoke, and I hate the smell. I may have to start performing wearing a gas mask. I am tired of getting bloodshot eyes every time I perform. What I may have to do is go to a place in the club that is non-smoking before I go on, and then perform, then go outside for awhile. We’ll see.

Anyway, I really enjloyed myself last night and look forward to more good times in the comedy world. Thank you, Comedy Cabana. I know you never saw me coming. Thank you.

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Real-Life Observational Humor

Here I am, in the flesh, ready to post yet another blog entry from the depths of my computer keyboard, and also from the depths of my mind. I figure using observational humor is something we all do at some times, and last night was one time when I thought up a few good pieces while attending my brother’s awards night at his High School. Here they are, unedited and full of spontenaety. I have no idea how to spell that word, but here we go:

Okay, I guess I will start off by stating the first thing I saw. The presentation started off with these ROTC men and women and they were carrying these rifles, and the first thing that came to mind was, “Doesn’t this school have a zero-tolerance policy on weapons?” I’m sure they weren’t loaded, but the very fact they had them was something to worry about.

Then they were handing out some sort of ropes to these certain students for their graduation ceremony, and they were like the kind of ropes you would use for a noose, except they were maroon and yellow, and I noticed that they are the perfect length to hang yourself with. A bit dark, I know, but at that point, I was over an hour into the presentation.

Then there was a very long segment, where one woman read all the award money each student got from each college they were accepted to. It took over thirty minutes, and I felt that if they had an auctioneer up there, they could’ve cut the time in half. Seriously, I don’t have that kind of time.

After the whole ceremony was over, they showed this slideshow of all these pictures of the students from that year. There were songs that accompanied the pictures, as they faded in an out, and every time a song ended, I thought the slideshow would be over. But then another song started, and another song, and another song, and it reminded me of something, a movie I saw a few years ago: Lord of the Rings: The Last One. I forgot the title, but who cares at this point? I remember watching that movie and how it kept fading out in the end, only to start another scene, and another scene, and another scene, until I was yelling, “Would you just end? What’s the matter? You can’t end?” This is exactly how I felt while watching this slide show. It was just like that movie experience, only slightly worse because I wasn’t being entertained at all. At least LOtR is mildly entertaining (I do not like those movies, but it sure beats a slideshow).

Finally, on the program, there was an award called PTSO Student award or something, and what came to mind was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. It is not like I can ever use any of these jokes in real life because it is completely unrelatable to anyone, so I have no qualms about posting them here. I am looking forward to my comedy competition final round this Monday, so wish me luck! If I win, I will be on my way to becoming a better comic. If I lose, I still had a great exprience.

P.S. By the way, I am so glad I finally found a way to incorporate the word ‘qualm’ into my blog post. Which word will I squeeze in next? Stay tuned to find out.

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