It appears I’ve lost my ability to write meaningful, coherent pieces on this blog. As much as this saddens me, I really don’t have any hard feelings either way. I wrote the kind of entries that all the self-help junkies would flock to. The more I wrote, the more pressure there was to write some more. So I just stopped. I stopped writing. Because I felt like I had nothing to say. Well, I had nothing of value to say, to pass along. I am now caught up in nihilistic and minimalist ways of living. Whether or not this is good or bad I don’t know, but having more free time to question the meaning of existence has opened some new doors for me. But even as I come closer and closer to a conclusion, I still think I need more time. I need more time.
As I type this, I look back and realize that parts of me have died and other parts have become reborn. I don’t know why this transformation is happening in me now, but I can say for sure that it is. It almost feels as if I am passing a membrane into another reality where nothing matters and I can always be at peace. I can wallow in this state for all eternity, or at least until my physical death. I guess this kind of state makes one complacent and not conducive to doing anything meaningful or productive. But that is not that big a deal because living by example is all I truly need. These spiritual people, who meditate in caves their whole lives, no one tells them to go out and get a job. No one asks them how they are contributing to the economy. They are left to have their own realizations in solitude and move on as they see fit. Why can’t we all live like that? We certainly used to before civilization started.
We used to coexist with nature, doing only what was essential to our survival and then enjoying ourselves afterward. Now we have so much excess and non-necessities that one almost needs to be a millionaire to make ends meet. The more we buy, the more we need to buy. While all this is going on, our planet is being depleted of its natural resources and we are killing species every day to make room for our unsustainable habits. And one of the main reasons many people do this is to be part of the crowd. To be accepted as a part of the consumer culture. To be a cog in the machine of civilization. Some people say, “Look how far we’ve come.” If you think raping land and destroying natural habitats is progress, then yes, we’ve come a long way.
I don’t blame the people of the day. I blame the system in which we are in. We have become fearful of nature, needing to conquer it when we are designed to live within its boundaries. We may think we are the smartest animals on the face of the Earth, but how could a smart species like us destroy so much? It is inevitable that one day there will be nothing left except concrete and asphalt driveways and complete lack of any wildlife unless we return to nature. It may not be easy at first, but at least we’ll stop the bleeding and start healing once again.
I guess I could weep for Gaia and do some small things to make the Earth a better place, but if the rest of the world isn’t going to back me, then what is the use? Sure, I’ll get out, but who else will come with me? Who can mentally get out of the system? Who can get back to loving nature as it is and allowing it to be? Why do people always need more and never less? “I want this and I want that.” Do you have any idea where all of those things come from? The Earth. They don’t just appear out of thin air. The more we take, take, take without giving back, the less we will have in the future.
So maybe those monks in caves have something to tell us about our lifestyles here in America and other developed countries. Maybe we need to stop going after the physical possessions and sense of one-upmanship and start living for what will bring us true joy. And maybe it’s time we all start moving towards this and creating a better world to live in.
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