I believe that certainty is far more powerful than doubt when it comes to beliefs. I not only believe this, but have experienced it firsthand. If you pursue something with certainty that it will manifest, then you are far more likely to have it become. Doesn’t that make sense? If you want to be skeptical about your future, then you will get what I would call skeptical results. If you exude certainty, then you will breed certain results that you can discern. I would like to give you a personal example of this:
When I was 16, I found out I had a malignant brain tumor in a very difficult place to operate in. This tumor was pinching off one of my ventricles in the brain, causing a condition known as hydrocephalis. That is, buildup of fluid in the brain. That is, excruciating and debilitating headaches. That is, permanent brain damage. I was 16 years old and perfectly healthy before that happened, with nothing more than an ear infection and strep throat in my medical records. But this brain tumor blindsided me. It was and still is the defining moment in my life. Being diagnosed with such a serious illness at such a young age changed me for life. It made me stronger, and a better person.
It was not easy to overcome this brain cancer, but I had supportive family on my side. My mother went to the ends of the Earth to find a surgeon who would operate on me. Luckily, the surgeon was only around an hour away, in Boston, MA. I was in such pain then, for around 6 months prior to the extensive 9.5 hour brain surgery that actually split the two halves of my brain open and took a piece of the tumor out. It is appropriate to say that this had to be, bar none, the worst day of my life. Swollen brain, swollen eyes, severe headaches that could not even be remedied by morphine. Welcome to my hell.
Luckily, even though it was found that I had brain cancer and that it was a malignant tumor, it turns out it was one of the most curable cancers out there, with roughly a 99% success rate. I had no idea because I didn’t even know I had cancer. Seriously. I only found out after the surgery that I indeed had cancer. Before, it was just a lesion, a growth. Now it become real. Cancer. But it was the best kind of cancer. Malignant pineal gland germinoma is the technical term, but let’s just say it was a blessing in disguise. I went through 30 days of radiation, which the doctors and oncologist said would melt the tumor and I would be free of cancer within two months. Sure enough, that is what happened. I can’t say that I was surprised, though.
In all of these ordeals with brain cancer, I never for one minute did not think I was going to come out of it. Not once. I knew in my mind that I was going to beat this brain problem and be just fine. I never let myself get down about it, nor did I even think of death or having severe problems after surgery. Sure, I may have minor problems that are a molehill compared to the mountain I was facing then. But the main key here is that I knew in my bones that this cancer was not going to beat me up. I was healthy, I was strong, I was committed to getting better. That’s what I thought about. Getting better. I was just waiting for the day when I was feeling better. I would not stop until I felt better, felt normal or at least close to it.
I have my battle scars to prove my story. I even have a bald spot on the back of my head and a window-like gash that shows where they cut my head open. I have my thin hair to prove I went through radiation and my inability to look up to prove that my tumor was putting pressure on the pineal gland, whose one of many functions is to control eye movement. Those days of severe suffering are over now. Sure, I may have bad days here and there, but for the most part, I have felt pretty great in the last 7.5 years, although I still do get headaches and eye problems. But I am by far way more functional than ever before and thank God I still have my amazing intelligence.
The point here is that I knew that I would get better. I knew it. It wasn’t a question. It was a certainty. I would have fought this cancer until it was eradicated. I was not going to give up on my life just because of a small, pea-sized lesion in my brain. I wasn’t going to let something that small hold me back. I took a few risks, like an extensive brain surgery, and radiation treatment, but it is better to have tried to get better than to stay the way you are. Even if the risk was permanent brain damage, because I was already suffering so much that I knew this was my only option to living a productive and meaningful life. I took the steps I needed to take to ensure that I would get better. I wasn’t going to chalk it up to chance. I wanted to get better bad enough that I was willing to bring myself through potentially debilitating treatments to overcome my ailments and once again become who it is I was meant to be.
So, if some goal you set for yourself seems daunting, just think of what you would do if you were diagnosed with cancer. Wouldn’t you do everything in your power to get better? Wouldn’t you seek until you found? Wouldn’t you learn a whole lot about yourself that you didn’t previously know? So why don’t we pursue our regular goals with such drive, such passion? Maybe because they aren’t as urgent? Or maybe because we are scared. But fear is not something somebody like me lets control their life. I prefer certainty. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it, or at least give it my best shot. And when I say best shot, I mean best shot, not some half-assed attempt. To have certainty in your heart, you must create it. Sure, some things are out of your control, but if you truly believe something is going to happen for you and you put in the necessary work, it will happen. You just have to use overwhelming force and drive to achieve what it is you are wanting.
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For me personally, the number one motivator to live my life with certainty and to eliminate doubt is to consistently remind myself that I am responsible for all of my experiences. If I am frustrated by something, I just tell myself I am responsible and I have the power to alter what is happening, then everything seems to work out okay.