When I first started this blog/website way back in 2006, my intentions for it were for it to be some sort of online business. Seven years later and I have not earned a red cent from this blog. As a matter of fact, I haven’t really tried that hard, but that’s mostly due to my various medical conditions stemming initially from a brain tumor I had about 10 years ago. I get bad eye strain from typing for too long, and writing 1000+ word blog entries just didn’t seem appealing at times, and I didn’t really have anything valuable to share, at least nothing original. But then again, there are hardly any original ideas out there anymore. Everyone is a collection of everyone else’s ideas and thoughts. I’ve heard from someone that most people go through their entire lives without having an original thought. Isn’t that pathetic?
For the past six months or so, on and off, I’ve been going through Steve Pavlina‘s archives. I started way back in 2004, and now I’m somewhere in the late 2008 phase of his blog. That man is a true legend in the blogosphere and in the personal development field. For me, he’s the person who started me on the right path after I was expelled from college for doing things that I would describe as bullying and passive-aggressive behaviors.
Now I’ve got a job that pays decent enough, I’ve saved over $26,000 in the past 4 years, and I can genuinely say that I’m happy where I am in most aspects of my life. Sure, I may work the graveyard shift, and I may not always feel my best, but I definitely feel my life is far more under control than it has ever been before. I enjoy the one person I work with each night, and there have been many that I have worked with. I’ve accepted my disabilities and my limitations, and people who know what I have been through consider me a miracle, an inspiration to others not to give up.
For those of you who do not know, I had a pineal gland malignant germinoma, which resulted in me going through a very traumatic brain surgery, where the surgeon actually separated the two halves of my brain in order to pull out a piece of my tumor to see what kind it was. It was a 9-hour affair. I’m just glad I was out for all of it. They took the back of my skull off my head and went all the way into the center of my brain to pull out what I believe was a few pieces of my tumor. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it if you don’t have to go through it.
After that ordeal, I had 30 days of radiation treatment, 15 days which were whole brain radiation, and the second 15 that were targeted radiation treatment to specifically melt the rest of my tumor. I was 16 years old when I had the surgery, and 17 when I had my radiation. It was one of the hardest challenges of my life, and it has affected me in oh so many ways, both positive and negative. Sure, I might not have a college degree or a high-paying job, but I can say for anyone who is going through a similar experience that I never, ever gave up.
I am in no way perfect, but that’s not the point, now is it? I’ve simply done the best I can with the cards I was dealt. At least I have a supportive family who will stand behind me. And I’ve got tons of interests in various things, including the nature of reality, reading (audiobooks mostly), writing from time to time, music, comedy, David Icke’s material, healthful eating, meditation (to the degree I can focus my mind), raising my level of consciousness, personal development, and others I can’t really think of right now.
Mama always said that God only gives people the things they can handle. I guess God thought I could handle brain cancer. I’ve only met one other person who has ever had a tumor in a similar part of the brain, and he had a far worse cancer than I did. My type of cancer and its location were one in a million. And I was born with it, and it slowly grew up until I was about 16, and that’s when it started pinching off a ventricle in my brain, causing headaches you can’t even imagine. It’s been a long journey getting back to where I feel like I found a job I can do and have been doing for close to 4 years now. As for making money from this blog, it’s not a pressing issue, although the extra income would be nice. I’ll have to give that some consideration in the near future.
Peace out, world.