Growth in Small Increments

I first got involved in personal growth in 2002.  That was when I found out I had a brain tumor.  This “personal growth” of mine had been growing  since birth, so I guess I had been into personal growth all along.  After the tumor was removed, I felt like I wasn’t growing anything, so I grew a goatee.  That turned out pretty nicely.  Then I started growing Chia pets.  Now I am growing a Lucky Bamboo.  Growth happens everywhere, but personal growth requires effort.  If you want to become a better person, you have to grow (and not just a beard).

These are my words of wisdom for the day.  Try and be a better person every day, and in the long run the cumulative effect will be astounding.  You might even become Jesus Christ. :)  Hey, you never know.  But all kidding aside, one day at a time, becoming better at what you wish to become better at…a simple way to become who it is you wish to be.  And a simple blog post from me.

Against Self-Help Books/Blogs

This blog has been pretty quiet the last month, simply because I don’t have anything I wish to share on here.  It’s not easy keeping a blog up for a month, never mind 5 years.  And a blog that doesn’t get much traffic at that.  I feel like I’ve pretty much said a lot about different things, and to keep going on this path would be more of the same, so I’m thinking maybe I’ll take this blog in another direction, at least for awhile, where I post links to comedy and other interesting things, because laughter is the best medicine for an insane society gone off the rails.  Comedy is one of my loves, so it would only make sense that I post some of my favorite comedy videos for awhile, just to sort of bridge the gap between my rantings about society, or some kind of pseudo-spiritual junk I read in a book.  Damn you, Steve Pavlina, for putting thousands of people on a path of personal growth that will most likely lead them to a career in magical thinking and tons of disappointment.  You were the reason i started this blog and now it has become something of an eyesore.

Here is a great Youtube clip of George Carlin talking about people who read Self-Help Books.  See, there’s the comedy.  He also goes into motivation seminars, or something similar and says that we have too much motivation.  The people that are causing all the trouble in this world are highly motivated.  Then he says something to the effect of, “You take a guy sitting at home, watching TV, and stroking his penis, and I’ll show you a guy that’s not going to cause any problems.”  Sure, they’re not causing any problems, but they’re also not solving any.  I just don’t see the point to this self-help movement.  All it is going to do is accelerate the destruction of this planet.  Spiritual development not withstanding.  You can develop your spirit without expending vast amounts of resources, but most people who are into self-help or personal development, or whatever lame thing you wish to call it, are usually in it for money, or success, or some other hollow achievement goals that keep you coming back for more and more, much like a drug.

There are self-help junkies out there, who are addicted to these blogs and seminars, people who like to pretend they are taking control of their life because they’ve been to a Tony Robbins firewalk.  Walking on hot coals is fucking crazy.  I’m sorry, but Tony, you are a fucking sadist if you have your attendees walk on hot coals just to see if they get burned or not.  Or that James Arthur Ray, who put a bunch of people in a sweat lodge and at least one of them died.  These people were not allowed to leave, even if they felt like they were dying.  Ha!  That really rings true to the ideology of taking conscious control of your life.  “Yeah, just stay in that sweat lodge and we’ll tell you when you can come out.  Somebody bolt the door.”

And even worse, probably the worst of all is this breatharian group, people who actually believe that humans can live without any food or water, and get all their nourishment from the air.  This is lunacy at its very extreme and kind of makes me laugh a little, because someone actually died doing this.  They went off into the woods or something, with a book written by some woman who calls herself Jasmuheen, and died.  I’ll tell you, not eating or drinking for a whole week in an isolated area where nobody is there to help you is a tremendous leap of faith.  I know most people would not do that, but those who have been indoctrinated in the belief system of certain spiritual and self-help circles can do some pretty crazy things.  And these things are entertaining as well.  It keeps the Darwin Awards interesting.

I don’t want to bash Steve Pavlina, mostly because he at least advocates thinking for yourself before you do anything like that.  I find him to be a little airy fairy on some things, but for the most part, he is at least practical and doesn’t have you sweating or starving to death.  He doesn’t force you to live the way he does, or condemn you for living the way you do.  He doesn’t have you drink Kool Aid, but simply shares his experiences and ideas and lets you decide if they resonate with you.  He may seem completely insane to some, but at least he isn’t saying that you should come along for the ride, just that he has had these interesting experiences that he never had before he got involved in personal development.  And he is not about to go into the woods and try to live off of air without taking the necessary precautions.

When it comes to self-help, or personal development, or whatever, go with your common sense, people.  Don’t so something that would put your life or the lives of people you love in jeopardy.  I think self-help has a sinister core, because it has all these success stories of people starting businesses and finding their true passion, but not too many failure stories, or the failures are dressed up as a stepping stone to success, or a temporary hurdle.  But what about those who quit their jobs and became homeless because of a self-help blog or book, or seminar?  Or those who died because of it?

This was a really weird and silly post, but at least I’m still posting. :)

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I’m Moving to Texas!

I’m just here to say that I’m taking this blog offline for awhile.  I’m bored with it now.  Everything I talk about is falling on deaf ears and I just can’t take it anymore.  I suck at marketing it and I figure I might as well sell it to another Andrew Brunelle who lives in Spokane, WA.  I’m sorry to all my loyal readers, but the time has come to reach a new realization.  Nobody likes my blog.  I figure I might as well end my career as a blogger and move onto what I really love to do–rodeos.  There’s nothing that gets me happier than tying up a baby bull or whatever they tie up on those rodeo shows.  I’ll be moving to Texas next week to pursue that dream.  Wish me luck.

I think I’ll fit in there.  I’ve got the goatee and the cowboy hat.  I just need a horse to ride, but I’m sure they’ll be able to provide one.  Yee-haw! will be my new catchphrase and I will chew tobacco and smoke cigarettes simultaneously.  I will be the Marlboro man and the redneck rolled all up into one.  If I keep that up for 30 years, maybe they’ll take my jaw out and I’ll look like that poster from my health class.  I might even be able to get a stoma.  This is going to be great!

I won’t ever need to read or write again because the rodeo life is a life of experience.  I’ll be more popular than Tim McGraw if I can get myself a couple of bucks on my first try.  I may even progress to bull fighting.  That would be the ultimate glory.  I hope it’s just like those cartoons I used to watch.  Anyway, I hope this all goes well and I may write in a couple of decades to reflect on my experiences out in Texas.  I’ll see you in 20 years!  April Fools!

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Funny Quotes by Yours Truly, Part III

I have more funny quotes to kind of lighten the mood here on my blog.  I hope you enjoy these as much as the last ones:

They tell all these stories on the save the children from that commercial from third world. They’re like, “This girl lived in a cardboard hut on the side of a cliff. When the rains came, it washed everything away.” Well, why was your cardboard hut on the edge of a cliff? You’d never be able to sell it. Real Estate is all about Location, location, location!!

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and he tells me that I have OCD. I said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening. I was too busy wondering if I locked my front door.”

I had this roommate is college. I hated him so much. He was a waste of life. He was over 350 pounds and all he did was eat and sleep. At one point I had to tell him, “Right now you’re doing three of the deadly sins: Sloth, gluttony, and McDonald’s.”

You know, humans are kind of like used cars. We all have things that don’t work right, some of us have a big trunk, some a smaller trunk. Some of us are compact cars, others are those big station wagon types that back out of the driveway and take up the whole road. But we all drive at our own speed. We all get things done in a certain way. Some of us take shortcuts. But we all end up at a dead end.

Don’t you hate having a boss? I don’t know why, but he thinks he’s in charge of me or something. I don’t know where he got that idea.

I just don’t know anymore. I don’t. Do you know? Because if you do, you could really help me out? Oh, you don’t know? Damn, I have no idea what I’m talking about.

You ever just sit back and imagine what the world would be like if you were never born? Like would all of you be here staring at an empty stage (or reading an empty blog)?

You would think the tobacco industry would make a cigarette that doesn’t kill you. Not because they care about you, but because the longer you live, the longer you smoke.

I hate reality TV. Maybe it’s because I hate reality.

I want to get better at being lazy, but it’s too much work.

Someone broke into our house once. He didn‘t steal anything. The only thing he took from me was my sense of security.

I accidentally cut off my finger a few months ago. I knew it was an emergency, so I grabbed the phone, but I had it upside down. So I called 119. They sent an ambulance, but it was driving in reverse.

I could never have six pack abs. That means I couldn’t go in the ocean. Fish might get stuck in the rings.

I went to the pharmacy for some Q tips, but right next to them was something called an “Earwax Removal Kit.” And I thought to myself, “I bet it works a lot better than Q tips.” So I bring it home, the box is like “this” big (large as hell), I finally get through all the packing material. It was a fucking Q tip.

Some people actually think homosexuality is a disease. For some reason, they do. Like tye’re saying you could call in gay to work. “Sorry, boss, but I can’t come in today. Yup, I’m really, really gay today.”

I’ve never met a homeless person with good credit.

I’m not with all the trends today. Like people buying clothes with holes in them. It’s the style, they say. So I go home an cut holes in all my jeans. I come outside and all of the sudden it’s not popular anymore.

’m lazy, believe me. The only exercise I do all day is one sit up when I get out of bed. And one more when I get up from my nap. I’ve gotten real accustomed to the sound of my alarm clock too. “Beep, beep, beep, beep,” kinda sounds like a techno song.

I’m working on developing the fourth law of physics. The whiter the shirt, the higher the chance you spill something on it.

One year I didn’t have any money to get my family stuff for Christmas. So I bought them books at the library. They were like: “Wow, Andrew, thanks for the book!” “Yeah, I hope you read really fast because they’re due back Friday.”

So, yeah, here they are.  I hope you enjoy them.  These are just from my archives.  That’s why they’re in blue.

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