Archive for the ‘Intentions’ Category

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Let’s Start a Revolution

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

I find it funny, even hilarious at how low this blog ranks in search engines.  Last time I checked, it was somewhere in the rankings of 3,000,000 when it came to websites.  I mean, that’s not bad, but it certainly won’t earn me any money, nor will it generate any buzz.  I could promote and market my site, but that seems tedious and pointless, so I’m just going to have to stay content being off the map.  And I’m fine with it, but eventually I’ll want to grow this cash cow into something that actually earns cash.  A million dollars would be nice, more even.  Just so I can live my life any way I please without many negative consequences.

Once this million dollars comes into my life, I plan to get a nice piece of land out in the country and build a small, modest home on it.  When I say small, I mean it.  Maybe 500 square feet, maybe less.  Perhaps a little more, but I’m sure most of that space will go to waste.  I plan to live there and write/explore.  I find that writing has a lot of solace in it and I enjoy it immensely.  I may write for others, or even just myself.  It won’t matter, because I won’t need any more money for the rest of my life.  I’ll eat very healthily and be at my physical peak, whatever that means for me.  And I won’t invest or anything, I’ll just have a savings account where it will earn interest at least equal to inflation.  I just need to get this damn blog on the map and watch the cash roll in.

It would be nice to be able to devote my entire life to what I believe in, but right now I still have to earn a living.  Earning a living takes a lot of energy out of me, and I can no longer work as hard on other pursuits.  We should be on the  front lines starting a revolution, but we have jobs and cars and homes to pay for and it seems only the unemployed have any free time.  These are people who are most likely wasting much of their free time drinking alcohol or using illicit drugs.  No offense intended.  I’m sure there are a lot of good workers who lost their jobs, and I’m not referring to them.  Why aren’t these people rioting in the streets?  Why aren’t they protesting our governmental tyranny?  Why aren’t they defending the Earth from corporate enslavement?  I don’t know.

There are some people out there who do make a difference, but the problem is that there aren’t enough of them.  And these people are mostly fringe, which gives them far less credibility than Noam Chomsky.  I’ve read articles about the freegans, who live without money, or as little money as possible, living off of the throw-away culture that we have created.  Here’s an article from the NY Times about this:  The Freegan Establishment.  They are considered modern hunter-gatherers.  They are living what the perceive as an ethical life with hardly any money, and people like me, and some others who are far worse, can’t see themselves doing this unless they had a windfall of money.

These people are squatting abandoned homes, eating food out of dumpsters, and traveling across the country while the rest of us are stuck at our soul-crushing jobs so that we can afford our mortgages and car payments.  They are doing what they believe should be rights to food, shelter, and autonomy.  But this world we live in denies those basic human rights to anyone who isn’t willing to become a corporate slave or scammer.  And believe me, there are plenty of scammers out there, especially on Wall Street.  This world is insane, and yet we are forced to go along with it or be shot, jailed, or simply bent to the will of our corporate masters as they kill the Earth with a giant smile.  It makes me sick, but hardly anyone is revolting.

Is it ignorance?  Is it hopelessness?  Is it depression?  What in the world is holding people back?  Do most people actually think this world is sane?  Is that the case?  Seriously?  Just take a look around you.  Look at the history books (that ironically have been edited from what truly happened, substantially).  Read books about forbidden history, the stuff that people who wrote history didn’t want you to know.  Realize that this world is under control by sinister forces, with questionable origins, and that they are conditioning you every day with their constant propaganda of telling you how to feel, what to think, who to admire, and who to condemn.  That is part of the reason I stopped watching television altogether, save for a few instances.  They can’t get to you if you don’t play their game.

When I read about people breaking free of the system and living a different way, it inspires me.  It gives me hope that there are cracks to break through.  The few people who do live on the fringes of society seem to have more fulfilling lives, because they actually stand for something.  Most people do jobs that are meaningless in the context of the meaning of life.  They usually do things that anyone could do if they had the necessary skills, and most jobs are less than extraordinary.  They are a means to and end, a fucking paycheck that most people spend completely before the next payday, thereby perpetuating their need for continuous employment.  But there is a better way.  You don’t have to let the system hold you over a barrel.

You can live very well cheaply while still working and save tons of money.  I’ve done it.  Others have done it.  You just have to adjust your thinking from the high-budget lifestyle to the low-budget lifestyle.  I haven’t bought new shoes in over 2 years.  I haven’t bought new clothes in longer.  I receive clothing as gifts, which I wear.  I eat a pretty healthy diet for less than you would expect.  I do own a car, but I bought it cheap from my grandfather for about half its value.  I very rarely buy things I don’t need.  I hardly ever go out to eat.  I am mentally out of the system, but I still hold down a job and do it well.  I just am not as dependent on it as others, whose life would fall apart if they got fired or laid off.

I’ve got some links in my sidebar about how to do this, and the most pivotal essay is Ran Prieur’s How to Drop Out. He articulates better than me, but we have similar messages.  He is in his 40s, but it feels like his consciousness is somewhere in the mid 20’s range.  This guy is what I do to the extreme.  He even bought land that he is building a cobwood house on.  He may be a semi-dropout, but he makes a hell of a lot more sense than those indoctrinated politicians, and by following this guy’s example, we can create heaven on Earth, instead of this toxic and unstable civilization.  Read some of his other essays as well.  Some very interesting stuff there.

Talkin’ bout revolution… Let’s do it!  We just need to get enough people aware of what is going on in the world.  And we need to get these people to start living the way us “dropouts” do.

If you found this post insightful, helpful, or thought-provoking, feel free to donate to my site.

Posted in Anarcho-primitivism, Anti-establishment, Inspiration, Intentions, Money, Nature, Simplicity, Theories | 3 Comments »

You Don’t Need It

Friday, December 17th, 2010

In this holiday season, people may go out on spending sprees, going into debt, and spending the rest of the year paying it off.  We are the consumer culture, buying things we can’t afford made by people in third world countries we’ll never meet.  It’s just the newest chapter of exploitation and greed.  Imagine a world where we didn’t do all of this.  Imagine a world where we were happy with what we had, and didn’t constantly need a new product to make our lives feel whole.  Imagine a world where we saved money, instead of frivolously spending it on things we would later regret buying.  We buy and buy and buy for others during this holiday season, when what we could give them is much more meaningful than a gift.  You could cook them a meal, make them some cards, or just tell these people how you feel about them.  You could have a nice family meeting where everyone goes around saying good things about each other.  There is plenty you can do in lieu of gifts.

For the past few years, when people have asked me what I want for Christmas, I’ve often said, “I don’t know.”  The only thing I would possibly want would be maybe an Amazon gift card to add a few more books to my Kindle, or something that I will get continuous value from, like a mug warmer or a new desk for my computer.  But I don’t really need those things, I just want them.  The desk I have is okay, it works, and I would have to get rid of this one in order to get a new one.  What I could really use is a small filing cabinet that could fit where the tower part of a computer would go if I had a desktop computer.  That way I could be a bit more organized.  Ever since the drawer bottom came out of my one drawer in this desk, I’ve been using a box on the floor.  But it hasn’t caused any suffering yet.  It’s just a minor inconvenience.  And I could easily head down to the Salvation Army and find a file cabinet that fits my needs and I could easily afford it.

What is it we actually need?  Food, water, some kind of shelter, people who support us, and fuel for those terribly cold months some areas of the world experience.  That’s pretty much it.  It is not required to have an iPhone or a Sony Entertainment System.  Those are things that can easily be done without.  Most of us would say we need a computer or a television, but that is simply not true.  Even though today’s world is full of them, and many people’s jobs rely on these new technologies, are they really necessary?  No, but they are still worth having sometimes because we all like to use them every once in awhile.  Self-deprivation is no fun, and we should have things we use, but things we do not use or will never use should be donated, or simply thrown away.  Or even recycled.

Many people today are minimalists and they don’t even know it.  There are people who are minimalists by necessity, because they have very little or no money.  Then there are those who are very wealthy who own very little, because they’ve seen beyond the socially-conditioned way of life and choose to only own what is useful to them.  It’s all about the mindset.  Not to mention that it is wise to save money and buy less now before the complete collapse of the economy.  It won’t take long for this to happen, just a few decades at the most.  We have no idea of the times that we are headed for.  Things certainly haven’t gotten any better, and if that’s any indication of how our future will be, then we need to stop spending fast.  I just hope our government stops printing money so that we don’t experience hyperinflation, which will make all the money we saved up essentially worthless.

I’m trying to justify minimalism in these hard times, because it will be best for us when it all comes crashing down.  And that all this spending, all this debt, is exactly the problem.  Stimulating the economy through credit cards and loans is not going to solve the problem, but just make it worse.  Do you hear that, Washington?  Stop all the spending and maybe someday we’ll get out of this recession.  Stop spending all our hard-earned money on things that don’t benefit us, like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Those wars haven’t helped the American people one bit.  In fact, it has crippled them.  So has all this outsourcing to China and other countries that will willingly exploit their people to send up cheaply-made merchandise.  Is this the world we were meant to live in?  I think not.

Why aren’t people willing to do the things that are necessary to creating the world we were meant to have?  It’s going to start on a conscious level, moving down to the physical.  We need to have a global rise in consciousness before we can get anything done.  We need leaders to get those who are not quite there yet up to our level.  We need to educate people about what is really going on in the world, so that they can make informed choices on what to buy and what not to buy.  Not only that, but what to do, and what not to do.  If we stopped buying things from the corporations who exploit other nations and other people, then they would have no power whatsoever.  If we all stopped going to Walmart and Target and Best Buy, then perhaps we would see a change for the better.  If people would actually think of why something is so cheap and think of the people who actually have to produce these things, there would be the start of a consciousness revolution.

It sure is a mad world out there.  And most people would rather be left in the dark about it, because if they don’t know, they don’t feel they are contributing to it.  But that is sheer willful ignorance.  We are all contributing to this world in one way or another, and we can decide in which way we want to contribute.  We can move towards fear or we can move towards love.  We can keep going on this suicidal trainwreck, or we can stop the train and figure out which steps need to be taken to restore the world to what it once was.  For the benefit of all creatures, not just our narrow, unenlightened self-interest.  Why is it that everyone who ever told us to live together in harmony either got shot or killed in some other way?  When are we finally going to be ready to hear this, much less do it?

Posted in Anarcho-primitivism, Anti-establishment, Inspiration, Intentions, Money, Rants, Simplicity, Theories | 1 Comment »

How to Build a Low Traffic Blog

Friday, October 15th, 2010

I’m sure I can write a coherent article about building a low traffic blog because I’ve had one for around 4 years now.  Let’s not play dumb and pretend that my traffic is sizable.  It is not.  Check out my Alexa ranking.  Right now it is in the 5 millions.  I was actually surprised to see that because before it was in the 6 millions.  So I guess I’m moving on up.  My website is viewed not very often, I assume.  If there are 5 million other websites getting more traffic than me, then perhaps I’m doing something wrong.  Or maybe it’s just that people would rather read more established websites.  Perhaps my content has not been constant enough for the average reader.  I’ve talked about way too many different things on here, but that’s who I am.  I’m not a robot who only wants to write about one topic and stick to it.  I like to mix it up and go through phases, such as my anarcho-primitivist phase where I blasted humanity big time for probably about a year.  But I always said there was a better way to live and there is.

Let’s take a look back at the history of this blog.  I started this blog sometime in 2006 to make money and eventually be able to live off of it.  That was my primary intention.  I wanted to help people, too, just make money as well.  I figured that I’m a pretty good writer, and I have ideas about things, so why not offer them to the general public?  So I did.  Within a year, I bought my first domain name and went from Blogger to Wordpress.  I did okay with traffic for a little while, mostly because I was posting on topics that people actually wanted to read, like Personal Development and comedy.  It was a time when I was starting to truly build a small, but sizable following, and my ranking was somewhere in the 1 millions.  I still hadn’t made a dime from this site, but at least I was getting somewhere in terms of success.

Then I started really enjoying nature and started reading stuff about simplifying my life and how we humans are destroying the Earth, which is still true regardless of how few people want to hear it.  I got my inspiration from people like Dave Pollard and Ran Prieur, both who run pretty successful websites, at least compared to mine.  Dave Pollard has been running his blog since 2002 and Ran Prieur’s website has been up around just as long.  I totally resonated with what they were saying and jumped on that bandwagon pretty quickly.  And I still feel this way today, to a point, but the more I rant about it, the more people don’t want to read it.  I know the old adage that people will listen when they are ready and only when they are ready, but the planet is dying, for God’s sake!  And there isn’t much being done about it.  But that kind of talk still falls on deaf ears I guess, or maybe, just maybe, people are so entrenched in their current way of life that they would rather die than give it up.

Finally, I started talking about stuff like who are we, and what is reality?  I guess that’s what caused my traffic “spike.”  I’ve been steadily increasing in traffic for the last few months, although it is a small increase.  I’m still not an A-list blogger, nor do I think that will ever happen with this blog, mostly because my past entries are way too chaotic and I don’t have a good framework for high page views.  I tried installing plugins like ‘Related Posts,’ and it ruined my site until I was able to remove it.  It caused all the blog entries to become incoherent lines of code.  I have no idea why all the sidebars disappear when I click on just  one entry and read it.  I am clueless when it comes to computer programming and I hate it with a passion.  I’ve never been a fan of programming, and I don’t think I ever will.  It’s just so tedious and exacting.

I wish I had the work ethic or the programming skills to make this website better, but I don’t.  I wish I had someone to do it for me, but I don’t.  I am thinking of creating another website so I can start over from scratch, but without my name attached to it, so that way maybe I can rebuild some traffic and have mostly articles I know people want to read.  Not only that, I want to create a website that is much more technically sound than this one, and I have to learn all these skills before attempting this.  I want to still keep this website, but as a secondary one.  I’ll still post here semi-regularly, as I have for the past 4 years, but it will be less of a disappointment if I can get another blog off the ground where I can actually build sizable traffic.  It will be a whole new format, a whole new platform for me.  I won’t be linking to it from here.  I’ll be promoting it elsewhere, far far away from the stigma of a low traffic website.  It is going to be completely original because I know exactly what it is I want to do with it.

I’m going to have a central theme on that website.  It will be unavoidable.  But I’m not ready to actually create this website yet.  I might just create a free blog and post there for awhile until I figure out exactly what it is I want to do with this new direction I’m taking my blogging.  I’m going to learn from the mistakes I made on this blog, albeit 4 years later.  I’m going to market it better, have a bigger following, and create truly meaningful content.  Maybe I’ll even make some money from it.  That would be nice.  Because this website has made me nothing, even when I had ads on it, and I’m so anti-advertising that I would balk at even placing an ad in the corner.  I won’t make a dime without traffic, so that should be my main concern, and creating and delivering unique and valuable content.  Content that has high social value and high personal value.  I’ve often thought I mostly blog on here for myself and whoever might want to read it.  But perhaps I’ve been doing it all backwards.  I don’t know, but I sure as hell have a great example of a blog that hasn’t really blossomed the way I hoped it would and it is nice that this failure of a blog will be here for years to come.  It will be a good example of what not to do with a blog if you want to make money from it.

Here is a list of things I have done that I suggest nobody does if they want to build a successful, high traffic blog:

  • Not having any central theme whatsoever
  • Not posting with any regularity
  • Creating content that you know is not your best
  • Ranting and raving about the same thing for over a year
  • Not knowing how to make your website have all the neat blogging gadgets
  • Being afraid to offend anyone
  • Taking all negative feedback seriously
  • Writing about things most people aren’t ready to hear
  • Not optimizing anything or marketing whatsoever
  • Thinking that blogging will be easy
  • I hope you get the general idea…

I know that some people like this blog, while most either don’t like it or don’t know about it.  I’ve received tons of feedback, most of it positive.  My next website will not allow comments.  Why?  Because I don’t want to spend my time moderating them.  I still like this blog, I’m just admitting that it isn’t successful.  And that’s okay.  I’m not willing to say that it has been 4 years wasted.  I have shown flashes of true brilliance on this blog and I can’t deny that.  I just didn’t always have brilliant posts and some of them were simply too similar to the previous posts and that is where I think I lost a lot of people.  But that’s fine.  I’m going to start fresh soon with a whole new blog and do my best to correct the mistakes I am aware of and try to find the mistakes I am still unaware of.  Just scan the archives to see what the progression of a long-term low traffic blog is, because I am a prime example.  At least I admit it and at least I am trying to learn from it.  My next blog will be at least a little better and I can move on from there.  Maybe by 2020 I’ll actually be earning money from a website, or maybe from a book I write.  Who knows?

If you found this post insightful, helpful, or thought-provoking, feel free to donate to my site.

Posted in Intentions, Money, My Experiences, My Jobless Quest | 2 Comments »

Truly Following Your Passion

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Nobody knows what they want.  Well, not nobody, but most people.  Most people simply want what they are conditioned to want.  If you ask random people what the purpose of their life is, or what they want to accomplish in this life, the chances are you’ll get a laundry list of socially-conditioned answers, such as, “make a ton of money,” and “become famous.”  Another thing you’ll notice is that most people’s answers are very vague and don’t really have any direction.  There are those few, committed individuals that have the drive and the knowledge to accomplish what it is they truly want, but most people never take the time to acquire that knowledge in the first place.  Most people do what is safe, what will allow them to live comfortably, but not extravagantly.  They live paycheck to paycheck, which in its own right is stupid.  And their lives become one big recurring dream, where one day isn’t so different from another.  There is little excitement and even less passion.

Most people are beaten down by the world, by society.  They had dreams once, but now they don’t believe in them anymore, or somebody else told them it wasn’t possible for them.  Maybe they’ve outgrown their old dreams and have new ones, but don’t have the courage to pursue them.  Or maybe everyone and everything they’ve wanted to be was themselves, but you can’t make a living doing that, so we’re forced to place our unique selves into a box that will fit in society’s mold.  We may find something we are truly passionate about and can make a good living from, but that is the exception and not the rule.  ”Do what you love and the money will come,” is not a complete lie, it’s just that most people don’t love anything enough to put in the amount of time it would take to become proficient enough to make a career out of it.

It is said by some famous author that you need to put in 10,000 hours in a particular field to become an expert at it.  And these have to be quality hours.  Not half-assed hours.  Who here has that kind of commitment, self-discipline, and willpower?  Sure, you could also become a jack of all trades, and a master of none, which could also be useful, but at the same time you don’t really have an identity, other than the fact that you’re good at a lot of things, but not excellent at any one thing.  If you pour your time into one field, one focus, you can become more powerful in that vein than you could ever be from just dabbling in it.  To thrust yourself fully into something and commit to it for a long period of time (hopefully driven by interest and passion) is the very definition of mastery.  And if it is something you truly enjoy, it will be that much more fulfilling.

But how does one stay on a course like that for so long without diverting from it?  How do you stick with it?  You should pick something you love to do and that also can net you a career.  It has to be something that will serve others and will also serve you.  It’s okay to give more than you receive, but no self-sacrifice.  Don’t become another starving artist.  We all have the ability to contribute and to be compensated fairly for it.  We all have (for the most part) functioning brains that can aid us in making decisions about what it is we are supposed to do with our lives.  We know what we enjoy doing, but do we enjoy doing anything enough to turn it into a career?  Would we be able to stomach doing work in a certain field for decades?  As long as it doesn’t get too boring, and there is some kind of learning and self-discovery taking place, I would say yes to most fields out there.

When you dedicate your life to something, you know who you are.  When you pursue your passion, you become it.  You don’t question whether or not this is what you should be doing.  It is what you have to do.  The life inside you is forcing this out of you, and unless you completely ignore the life inside of you, there will be no stopping it once you know what your “purpose” is.  You will be unstoppable.  If you look at successful people, they decided what they wanted and they worked hard for it, but it was  worth it because the journey and the destination were just as rewarding.  It wasn’t just about the destination.  If that’s all that is keeping you on your current path, it is a path without a heart.  If you are not enjoying where you are on your journey right now, then what’s the point?  The point of life is to enjoy it.

The problem with most people is they never even find their passion.  They never even try to find their passion.  They don’t even know why they are here, other than the fact that their parents had sex.  They haven’t found anything worth pursuing, so they end up fulfilling other people’s purposes, others’ passions.  They become the cogs in someone else’s machine.  They become one of the facilitators or someone else’s goals, which unless you are in line with those goals as well, is inauthentic and shows that you truly have no direction, no sense of yourself, and that you are willing to adopt the goals and vision of some other person, whose motives you aren’t exactly sure of.  You are not really the author of your life then, are you?  You are more a supporting character in the game of life.  Which is suboptimal at best and downright stupid at most.

Now, I wouldn’t suggest quitting your corporate job right away, because you read this blog entry.  But what I would suggest is becoming more conscious in what it is you are supporting.  What it is you are actively engaging in.  And then I suggest you look for what truly stirs your soul and start to pursue that, while simultaneously still doing what you have to to make ends meet.  Do some self-exploration to find what it is you think you would most enjoy doing and try it out.  It is very important that you at least try to do this because otherwise, what kind of life are you living, fulfilling others’ goals while standing on the sidelines of life?  Is that really who you were meant to me?  An extra in the movie of someone else’s life?  Why not create a life that people make movies about instead?  It is at least worth a shot, I’d say.

If you found this post insightful, helpful, or thought-provoking, feel free to donate to my site.

Posted in Inspiration, Intentions, Nature | 2 Comments »

Take the Red Pill

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

Remember The Matrix?  The scene where Morpheus tells Neo that he can take either the red pill or the blue pill?  The red pill will open his eyes to what reality truly is and the blue pill will keep him living the way he is now, but never knowing the real truth.  I find this to be a great metaphor for conscious living vs. unconscious living.  Some people prefer to live in denial and ignorance (the blue pill), while the  others choose to expand their minds and their consciousness by taking what I’ll refer to as the red pill.  Which would you prefer?  Which would give you the best results?  Is it better to be blissfully ignorant or consciously aware?  I would personally say the latter, but the choice is entirely up to you.

The truth is that most people swallow the blue pill because it is simply easier and requires less effort.  It may give you subpar results, but at least you don’t have to work so hard for them.  You don’t have to grow if you don’t want to because you are running the same patterns over and over, with similar results, what I would call a stagnating life.  You don’t question your reality, you simply accept it and keep living as so.  That hardly sounds inspiring, and it is probably rather boring to keep your life in such a small box that it doesn’t seem to change a whole lot over decades.

Taking the red pill is a risk.  It is not based in security, but rather curiosity.  It is like taking an adventure.  You’ll learn things about yourself and your reality that simply cannot be learned from the perspective of the blue pill.  It is the path of growth, where you are constantly expanding your mind, consciousness, and sense of self.  It is the way of conscious evolution.  You are constantly growing, constantly learning new things to aid you in your pursuit of growth.  You become stronger and more intelligent through this process.  You become more of a human being and realize the true greatness within all of us.  This seems quite inspired, now doesn’t it?  But it is far more difficult than just staying in “normal” mode.  It requires courage, self-discipline, willpower, persistence, and a whole host of other qualities that will take time and effort to develop.

You can choose to take reality at face value, or you can choose to actively participate in the creation of your reality.  What seems more intelligent to you?  What is a better predictor of success in whatever field you find yourself in?  To let the tides of life throw you around or to take control of the ship and start directing your course?  Imagine if in The Matrix, Neo took the blue pill and the rest of the movie was him working in a cubicle for the rest of his tired, wretched life.  What kind of movie would that have been?  A lousy one at best.  He would have been like an NPC in a role playing game, just sleeping through life, not really making a difference.

When you work in conjunction with the universe to manifest your goals, they will be easier to manifest.  Doesn’t that make sense?  Logically and intuitively?  If you either don’t work at all or work against the universe in manifesting your goals, wouldn’t you imagine you’d have a much harder time getting to where it is you want to be?  But what about going with the flow?  That works great for water, but lousy for humans.  If you ever want to accomplish anything in your life, you will need to create your own flow and work with it, not the flow of social conditioning, which is suboptimal at best and self-destructive at worst.  The big question is:  Which flow are you going with right now?  And how can you create your own flow?

You create your own flow by going with what you are passionate about.  It is easier to do something you love than to do something you don’t like.  Even if the work is harder on the love side, it will be intrinsically rewarding as well as extrinsically rewarding if you become successful at it.  Even if you are extrinsically successful at something you do not like, there is no intrinsic motivation to keep doing it because it is not something you are passionate about.  It is better to fail at something you love than to succeed at something you hate.  Succeeding at something you hate is not truly a success.  It is more of a tedious waste of time.  Why devote yourself to something you hate?  You will be working against the flow of your passion, so it will be many times more difficult to succeed, and it will be less rewarding.  Why paddle upstream when you can ride the currents of your passion?

Taking the red pill is consciously following your passion, being committed to it, becoming it.  You live, breathe, and eat your passion.  You do what it is you have to do to become what it is you wish to be.  You ride the flow of passion and inspiration, combined with willpower and self-discipline.  You may not be where you need to be in terms of success yet, but the sheer joy of doing the work you love makes success irrelevant, as you are enjoying the journey, and not just the destination.  You are no longer attached to outcomes, even if you are successful, because it is simply a continuation of the wonderful journey that you are on.  And the more you do the things you love, the better at them you become, and success is all but guaranteed.  As long as you follow your self-created flow, you will get to where it is you wish to be.

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