Inception Review:

What is the deal with all the buzz surrounding the movie Inception?  Was it really that great?  Why are people so enamored with it?  It kind of reminded me of The Matrix, only with dreams.  I didn’t like the base concept that you could actually implant a thought into someone’s mind if you deep enough into their dream worlds.  I can’t see how that would even be possible, not to mention that you can even invade people’s dreams.  Not only that, the whole notion that Leonardo DiCaprio‘s character was helping some cutthroat businessman gain a monopoly just so he could go home and see his children was not very enlightened in the least and seemed rather immoral.  What he was being “paid” to do was go into the head of the heir to another company that was a rival of this Japanese guy’s company and implant the idea to gut the company now that his father is dead.  That would leave Mr. Japanese with a complete monopoly or at least close to it.

There were a lot of stupid rules in this film.  They took some kind of sedative where now if they died in the dream, they would get stuck in what they called “limbo,” which is 4 levels down from what I understand.  Why?  I don’t know.  There was no reasoning given for this.  We all know that no matter how deep in levels we dream, if you die in a dream, you simply wake up, even if you’ve taken whatever sedative ingested.  Not only that, but they were in this guy’s dreams.  They were asleep as well, but they were invading his dreams somehow in order to persuade him into changing his mind about his father’s company.  There were tons of dream rules that had no basis in reality or even dream reality, but there were some that could  be possible in a dream.

One such example is that the deeper you go in levels (i.e. dreams within dreams), the more time passes in relation to real time.  I can see that as being possible.  The fact that you can manipulate dreams to fit what you want is also possible through lucid dreaming.  But it wasn’t even their dream to be shaping.  That is probably why they couldn’t change the physics when they went into that guy’s dream.  I just want to say that it was an interesting concept, but it left too many holes in it.  It was a decent movie, but it was way too convoluted and fast-paced to truly leave a mark on me.  People have said you have to see it multiple times to really get it, but it seems like I wouldn’t need to do that because a good portion of the movie just didn’t make sense to me.  I’ve been a longtime admirer of Christopher Nolan and his works, Memento and The Dark Knight being two of my favorite movies.  But this one just didn’t live up to the hype.

I didn’t even go see The Dark Knight when it came out, even though people were raving about it.  When I finally did see it, I was blown away.  In 2004, I saw Memento for the first time and was enamored and captivated by the unique presentation and story.  Even Nolan’s The Prestige was an excellent movie about 2 rival magicians in the 1800s.  He’s had blockbuster hits and the majority of his movies are well-received and unique, as was Inception.  But for some reason, it just didn’t seem as fantastic as some of his other movies.  I don’t know.  It just didn’t resonate with me in the same way as Memento did.  Memento had the subtlety and was very psychological in nature, as was The Dark Knight.  I didn’t find Leonardo DiCaprio’s acting to be in any way interesting enough to play the part of lead role in this movie.  To me, it was your typical summer action movie with a dream twist.  Maybe I just don’t like movies anymore.  I don’t know.  I’m just not into them, unless they are my type of movie.

It seems stupid to devote a whole blog post to a movie review because movies are nothing more than idle entertainment for the most part.  There have been some movies that have changed me, but not many.  For the most part, they are forgetful and just another way to waste away our lives.  Even when I see movies that are supposedly considered the best of all time, at the end I’m thinking, “”That was it?  That was it?”  Not to say that I don’t have my favorites.  But most movies just fall drastically short.  Here’s an incomplete list of some of my favorite movies and I’ll see if I can find a common theme:

  • Memento
  • The Dark Knight
  • Fight Club
  • American Beauty
  • Seven
  • The Usual Suspects
  • Office Space
  • Dumb and Dumber
  • The Prestige
  • Catch Me if You Can
  • Shawshank Redemption
  • American Psycho
  • Frequency
  • Departed
  • Mystic River
  • The Hangover
  • Identity
  • Runaway Jury
  • National Treasure

This is by no means a complete list.  But these are some of the movies that I enjoyed.  If that gives a clue to the kind of movies I enjoy, then so be it.  I just like movies that are either truly funny and witty, or movies that truly make me think.  Inception made me think, but think that the plot was ridiculous.  I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is.  I would rather watch a movie in which this reality is a dream then watch a movie where people have adventures in their dreams so that they can go see their kids in real life.  Come on, people.  And it never even tells us if the heir to that company guts it.  It doesn’t prove success or failure, except in the dream.  And how many people believe their dreams three levels deep?  And I’m willing to bet if the subconscious is down there, it is at least 100 levels deep, or more, so it just did not resonate with me.  Here I go again, critiquing the movie everyone seems to love.

In case you didn’t know, they are making The Hangover 2.  I don’t think it will be as good, but I think I’ll go and see that, if only because of my love for the comedian Zach Galifiniakis.  Funny, funny guy.  I’ve been watching him for years.  I guess what I learned from seeing this movie is that most movies that everyone likes I probably won’t like as much and the undiscovered gems that do poorly at the box office and later become cult classics are the movies I most enjoy.  There are exceptions to these rules, but for the most part, I’ll stick with the more interesting and obscure movies that are truly trying to make a profound statement, unless I get an intuitive ping to go see a blockbuster hit.  Anyway, have a nice day and I hope you enjoyed that movie more than I did.  Not to say that it was horrible, just that it wasn’t as captivating as I thought it was going to be.  And that’s okay.

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Upping the Ante

Living in such a crazy world is not as easy as it looks.  I try realy ared to maintain the fact that what I talk about has to be moderately funny, but right now, I”m at a crossroads in my life.  I have a unique talent for both comedy and writing.  I could pursue either of the two, but pursuing both at the same time is completely insane.  I’d have to devote more than my share of time to both areas, which would probably lead to me getting burned out.  I think I might want to write a novel, well, maybe a short story.  Actually, why not a poem?  It doesn’t really matter.  I’ve just got to finish something.  that’s my problem.  Finishing things.  I’m great at starting things.  I can write even twenty pages or more.  I even wrote an eighty page book, but then I just stopped writing in it and it’s like if I try to go back, it will mean I have to read it all over again.

Right now I’m in the middle of writing a BI-LO script and also writing a serious book about a man who has completely isolated himself from society.  They’re both a work in progress.  But the both require different mindsets to write.  There is much more dialogue in the BI-LO script than in the book because the guy in my book doesn’t really talk to anyone, ever.  But he talks through the book.  It’s written in first person, so everything I write is thought through his eyes.  I enjoy doing this, although it will take maybe another two to three months to finish this.  But I’m flowing with ideas from it, but I can never remember what I’ve already written about this character.  It’s a very interesting book so far, to me at least.

The BI-LO script is about the place where I currently work.  It is a terrible place to work, and it’s not especially conducive to creativity.  But I’m working on turning my world into a script.  It’s not my entire world, but it’s an integral part of it.  I just want to make a film that people can relate to.  Something that they find funny and also very thought-provoking.

I also want to write some short stories about different things.  I just want to go deeply into character development and really allow people to get to know the characters I’m talking about.  By doing that, I kind of have an advantage.  I love detail and things like that, so it shouldn’t be too hard to come up with very interesting characters and dialogue.

Lastly, I want to come out with some kind of book about laziness.  Something to the effect where relaxation and meditation are key to being more productive while doing less work.  I could talk about the Law of Attraction or something, but I’m not sure that I want to be like everybody else.  My main goal is to create something unique, something totally me.  Something that can express my inner self directly and indirectly.  Not my ego, but my spirit.  I know that writing is what I was put on this earth to do, and the comedy will be a nice supplement.  I can take it out whenever I feel it is necessary.

I am a big fan of dark comedies.  I love them to the point of utter insanity.  Two of my favorites are American Psycho and The Cable Guy.  Movies that have a great plot and also make you laugh.  I love things like that.  Especially the dark nature of each.  I may write some kind of dark comedy with an insane character that has a profession in fucking up lives.  I’m just bursting with ideas right now, but the only problem I’m having is working on all of these things simultaneously.  Maybe I should take one project at a time.  I’m not sure.  The thing is that I don’t know if in ten months if I’ll still be interested in certain projects that I think are good now.  I have to keep a running notebook of ideas, which probably means I’ll have to buy a computer keyboard so I can put my laptop further away and put the notebook on my desk and the keyboard below.  Never mind.  I don’t have to do that.  But I am going to try to finish my script and novel about a solitary man.  Well, I’ve got to get ready for work now, so I’ll be back some other time.

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Bad Movies, Generic Cereal, and Hammocks

I love going to bad movies.  Not just the run-of-the-mill bad movies, but the ones that Ebert and Roepper chopped their thumbs off.  The ones they use for torture in terrorist death camps.  Those are the movies I like to go see.  You know why?  Because if something is bad, I can talk to the people there with me about how bad it is.  It’s hilarious.  It’s like, “Hey, ths movie is awful, isn’t it?”  “Yeah, it sucks.”  And eventually, we go get our money back, not sit through the entire thing because I don’t give a shit how it ends.  All I care about it having the whole theater to myself.  I like to throw candy all over the place and yell random stuff out.  I remember when I went to go see, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  What an awful movie!  I couldn’t believe how bad it was.  And then there’s Taladega Knights.  Oh, my God, was it awful.  I spent the whole movie laughing at how bad the plots and just how bad the acting was.  It was funny because it wasn’t funny at all.  I spent more time complaining at how bad it was, it made me laugh.  I hate people who actually like those movies, though.  I think I know what it is.  They’re trying to justify spending the money to go see it.  That’s a bunch of total crap.  If you didn’t like it, don’t lie to yourself and say you did just to make the expense sensical.

I love going to bad movies, though.  Ones that people wouldn’t ever even bother going to, ever.  Although, the value of renting bad movies is pretty good as well.  Like if you were ever to rent Master of Disguise, you’ll know what I’m talking about.  The worst movie, ever, I think.  So bad and so worthless you had to laugh at the sheer volume of it, that someone would actually think this thing up and actually think it would do well at the box office.  That’s the real comedy in it all.

I also hate people who say that generic products taste just as good as the name brand ones.  Like at a supermarket they have too versions of Frosted Flakes.  One of them is the Kellogg’s brand, and Tony the Tiger says, “They’re great!”  On the generic brand they have a cockroach saying, “They’re okay!”  And it’s a smaller box.  And they taste terrible.  Then there’s the people who say, “They taste the same.”  You know what the name for those people is?  Cheap bastard.  But stores are going to the absolute limit.  They actually have a generic brand of Gogurt and Triscuits.  Can you believe this?  The Gogurt is called “Grab ‘Ems” and the Triscuits are called “Wheat ‘Ems.”  How stupid is that?  They feel they have to compete with those companies, too?  I’m waiting for generic caviar or something.  Mmm mmm, the taste of generic fish eggs for 99 cents.

I can’t wait until I get a hammock, though.  That is going to be so sweet.  I can just relax in it all day.  It’s like the ultimate relaxation furniture, if that’s what it’s classified as.  I wonder how much they cost, because I hear they’re pretty popular.  If I could get one that’s really comfortable, like the ones they make in Mexico, I’d be all set.  I had a friend in colllege who had his own dorm room and he had a gigantic hammock in there.  I was like, “Hot deal, man.  That’s awesome.”  What’s better than having one.  It’s so much better than stressing my back in a chair.  I’m going to check some prices on one and I’ll get one if it’s not too expensive.  I don’t need an iPod, I need a hammock.  Then I can practice Hammockology and become fucking awesome.  Well, let me know if you know how much a hammock costs.  I’m sure I can get a good one for less than $200 dollars.  But we’ll see.  See you later, peace.

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South Park Pokes Fun at 9/11

I went to go see School for Scoundrels last night.  It was pretty funny.  It had the guy from Napoleon Dynamite and Billy Bob Thorton.  I’d give it about a seven and a half on a scale of one to ten.  We kind of left the movie early a little because I had to watch my one TV show a week, South Park.  It was an episode about the 9/11 conspiracy theories.  It was really good until the ending.  The ending kind of left me pissed off, but it was okay because the rest of it was so good.  They even had a fake version of the Hardy Boys, but they called them the Hardly Boys.  And they were so fucking gay it was hillarious.  “I’m getting a ragin clue right now.  My clue in pointing in this direction.”  Man, it was really funny.  And then the sscene where George W. Bush shoots a guy in the head, then ten minutes later Stan and Kyle see that same guy again alive.  It was a great fucking episode.    The animation was spectacular as well with amazing scenery shots.  I know you probably don’t see this from the two-dimensional South Park world, but this episode was special in that regard.  It was something that we had to get home for, though.  There was no waiting till 12 to watch the rerun.  It’s amazing how one show, and just one show, can make such a big impact on my life.  There really isn’t another show like that one.  If they didn’t have that show on Comedy Central or on TV at all, I would watch no TV.  But the benefits of seeing them push the envelope is so amazing that I even left a movie I paid $7.75 for to make it home in time.  Thank you, South Park and may the lord be with you.

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Censorship is *Bleep*ing Bull*bleep*

I hate it all.  I hate bleeps, I hate those fake words they put in on a TV movie that used to be in theatre.  I *bleep*ing hate it all.  It’s just not natural.  It’s suppressing who we really are.  Forget using replacement words.  Say what you want to say and don’t back down.  Don’t let anyone get in your way.  It’s all about being yourself, whomever that might be.  In a previous post I wrote about comedians who sold out to do movies that were just awful.  It was because they valued money over their true self. Sure, they might have been a watered down version of who they are, but look at Bob Saget, for Christ’s sake.  That guy was a really funny comedian before America’s Funniest Home Videos came out.  He was very blue, but he was also very funny.  I know that foul language is not the choice of every comedian and the fact that they use clever things to disguise what they’re really talking about is nice and all, but the comedians that just say the *bleep* that you’re thinking and do the *bleep* you expect are the ones that deserve to be remembered, but all that is remembered about them is some corny movie they did about bull*bleep* that nobody remembers.  That’s all it is.

I hate watching comedians on TV and hearing the bleep.  It’s just so frustrating, it makes me swear out loud at the television.  I’m paying for this thing called cable and I believe I deserve to hear everything those people are *bleep*ing saying, not some fake, edited version of their act.  It’s just not fair.  You’ve got to stand up for what you believe in.  I’m tired of hearing about how awful some things are on TV.  Don’t watch *bleep*ing them, then.  Jesus Christ.  Why should we all have to conform to some FCC standards?  Who the hell are they?  Notice I had to use hell instead of *bleep.*  It’s *bleep*ing bull*bleep.*  This post makes no *bleep*ing sense, but *bleep* it.  You know what I’m saying?

People are always ready to get offended by anything.  Calm the *bleep* down.  It’s not really that bad.  So, some foul language got into the mainstream.  So what.  It’s not going to kill you, so lighten the *bleep* up.  It’s just stupid.  Moronic.  Idiotic.  Would movies like Office Space be as funny if it didn’t have the swear words that totally made the movie? No it wouldn’t.  Those words make a stand.  Because we’re so sheltered from them, every time we hear them, we instantly are attentive.  “Fuck” is the biggest attention-getting word in the world.  Anyone hears “fuck” and they instantly turn to where it’s coming from. It’s inevitable.  Maybe if we started using these words regularly, they would have less negative connotations and be just like the other words in the English language.  Then there would be no need for censorship.  All words created equal.  I mean, it is the tweny-first century, people, so get with the *bleep*ing program.

It’s all the Christian’s fault.  That’s whose fault it is.  I have to blame someone.  And I chose them.  Their whole motto of being afraid of doing things or else some guy who’s in charge of everything will punish you by sending you to some fiery temper is just insane.  What in the hell were they thinking when they wrote this?  Some guy with horns poking you with a pitchfork while you remain there for eternity?  Ha, and that’s what makes you afraid to use the word *bleep?*  Or *bleep*?  How about *bleep?*  Four-letter words that make everyone tick.  It’s just so *bleep*ing amazing.  Send me an email for the uncensored version of this post.  It’s dynomite.  Maybe I should censor the word *joke.*  Wouldn’t that just make everything confusing?  Or the word *punch?*  Take the sentence:  I punched my friend.  It becomes:  I *bleep*ed my friend.  I just don’t care anymore.  It’s all rooted in fear.  This whole censorship thing is all about how people are afraid to hear these words that supposedly can throw a whole country into disarray.  Controlling what we say in a country that values free speech so eloquently is such a hypocrisy that needs to be stopped.  I sure hope I struck a chord here because I’m just sick of it.  This is all I have to say about this topic.  *Bleep*ing enjoy this, mother *bleep*er.

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