Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

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Feeling Low

Friday, April 17th, 2009

Lately, lately, lately, I don’t know what to say.  I’m looking for a new job and applying lots of places, but none of them are calling me back.  I’m just trying to build my savings back up and it seems like people are just ignoring me.  I must have applied to 40 places in the past 4 months and no one has even called me back yet.  Maybe they read my blog.  All my dreams and aspirations on this blog are becoming mere child’s play because this society is going to be around for awhile and as the population keeps exploding, the worse it’s going to get.  It seems rather hopeless to even go on in a world like this and really try to initiate change because there are so many forces working against me.  The whole structure of society forces everyone to act and obey as the establishment says it should.  This really bothers me to my very core and if there is no way to make money than to have a job right now, then what am I supposed to do when they don’t call back and every time I call them or visit them, they keep pushing me off to a later date?

I keep applying and applying and applying and all for naught.  I know I’ve said before that work is mostly unnecessary, but in our terrible pathological world, it’s the only way to keep living on this god-forsaken planet.  I haven’t received one donation for this blog and I’ve given so much, so why should I even ask for them anymore?  I hardly get any comments and I just feel like I should just quit everything and just stop blogging because obviously no one is even listening.  It’ really getting depressing lately.

I put so much effort into writing on this blog, and I’m putting some effort into getting a job, but neither are working out.  I could write some more babble about how if we all lived in balance with nature that jobs wouldn’t be necessary, but I feel like that’s never going to happen, so what am I to do?  I just get sick of it sometimes.  I feel like the whole world and God is conspiring against me, especially when it comes to my health.

I’ll feel good for a couple of days, and then the blinding headaches come back.  I’ll be doing well and think I can finally read again, and I strain my eyes so bad that they hurt for weeks.  I go out looking for jobs and I come back with a headache from excessive driving, which for me is less than an hour.  It’s not so bad when I don’t push myself, but if I have to go and do anything, it adds on the pain.

This has been going on to various degrees for seven years and I’ve been to numerous doctors, all of them with no answer.  I have some good days once in awhile, but I always know the pendulum is going to swing the other way.  I often get criticized for not putting in enough effort in certain areas of my life, but if the people criticizing me felt what I feel on a daily basis, they would promptly shut their mouths.

I’m not someone who usually complains because I don’t want a ton of people feeling bad for me or worrying about me.  I don’t like it when people are constantly assessing how I’m feeling because I really don’t want to think about it myself.  I’m trying my best and if that’s not good enough, too bad.  I’m sick and  I have days where it’s a miracle I even get out of bed, so don’t you sit there and judge me.

But enough about that.  I don’t want a pity party.  I’m just not fit for this world the way I feel, at least not right now.  And it makes me sad.  Because I always had so much potential.  I was always so smart.  But this cancer in my brain, it took something from me and I don’t know what it was, but it’s been haunting me for seven years.  The worst part about this is that hardly anybody understands or even makes an effort to try and understand.

And people wonder why I isolate myself.  It’s because every person I see that’s healthy and doing well is just another reminder that that’s not me.  That I’ll never feel that good.  It’s not easy living with this curse, and it’s been way too long.  I just want to get better.  That’s all I’ve ever wanted.  I just want a clear mind and a pain-free life.  I want my zest for life back from where it was taken.  That’s all.  Is that too much to ask?

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Preserving Nature

Friday, April 10th, 2009

What I wish to do someday, when I have enough money, is to buy a piece of land and preserve it and let it go wild for the benefit of everytying that’s there.  I may build a little Unabomber shack there to live in intermittantly, but that will be it.  Just a few acres of undeveloped land that will be allowed to stay that way indefinitely so that I can at least do my part at actually saving the Earth.  Sure, in the long run, it won’t matter that much, it being such a small portion of the Earth, but it will be very important that I do it for myself and for the influence of others.  People will go miles to see a wild habitat, but very few people will travel miles to look at lawns because they’re everywhere.

I wish I could just go out and do this without buying land, but it is such a shame that all the good land is owned by people who just took it.  They didn’t pay for it when they first claimed it, but now they want to sell it to me?  It’s all profit.  Or if the agencies that sold it to me paid for it, they were scammed from somebody else who just claimed the land.  This goes to prove that most of our wealth is just an illusion built on theft and domination.  Why do you think we’re still spending money on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?  Because there’s free money in it for us in the form of oil and natural resources.  We truly are the bullies of the world here in America.  And it’s gotten worse.  They even gave the ex-slaves 40 acres and a mule.  When we’re born into this country, we’re given nothing.  The state barely even guarantees our survival.  Other countries in the world give every citizen a little piece of land to live on.  Not in America.  Because there’s not profit in giving away things for free, but there is profit in stealing things and calling it progress.

Back in the old days, you could just go to a piece of land and claim it and live on it.  Now, there’s hours of paperwork and thousands of dollars spent.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  Who profits from the selling of land, the selling of land that has existed since the beginning of the Earth?  It’s completely bogus.  How can someone own something like that?  It’s complete bull shit.  Look at what it’s done to the world.  Take a good look at what this country used to be.  A pristine landscape, full of life and diversity.  Now it’s the third mall from the sun.  If this doesn’t piss you off, you are too entrenched in the system and your mind crosses over into pathology.  Why do Americans think this country is so fucking great?

It’s the most pathologcial of them all, except Dubai, which I linked to yesterday.  If that country or city, or whatever it’s called in man-made language, is not pathological, I don’t know what is.  They pump in thousands of gallons of water a day just to keep the city going.  They use slave labor in the hot, hot deserts.  I almost cried when I read that article.   People from other countries being lied to about a great job in Dubai, only to have their passport stolen and denied wages, against the very laws of Dubai, but never, ever enforced.  These people who were enslaved, acting like helpless caged animals, without a will of resistance because they’re almost dead from heat exhaustion and dehydration.  That had to be the most shocking aspect of the whole city.  Then there’s the rich first worlders enjoying the whole city at the slave’s expense.  These people won’t even acknowledge the slaves because they’re too afraid to even look at them, because deep down they know their pleasure comes from those slaves’ pain.

Anyway, preserving your own piece of nature is one of the best things you can do because at least now you’re part of the solution.  I have a good mind to just go live somewhere  in nature, but then there’s no security because it could be destroyed at any minute for the so-called development of this country.  It truly is a shame that we’ve resorted to destroying the whole planet just to make a couple of bucks.  Are we ever going to realize the folly of our ways?  I say we because we’re all in this together and we’re all going to suffer in the end.   I fear that even owning land will not stop the ruling powers from taking it from us when we hit a crisis.  We are already in crisis, but when it gets worse, who knows that the rulers of this country and the world will do to expand their power while constricting ours.  It’s anyone’s guess, but martial law is one of them.  I’ve already heard that Obama or someone in his Cabinet threatened Congress with marital law if they didn’t pass even one of the stimulus packages.  What does that say about our government?

So, for the time being, getting a piece of nature, a piece of land that you own and can preserve is something that, as of now, the ruiling classes can’t just plow down for development.  It will be a nice post-crash shelter that you and your friends can enjoy and live on while the majority of the country goes homeless and hyperinflation takes effect.  That’s what the stimulus bill is going to do to our country.  But I’m no expert on the economy.  That’s why I link to sources that will tell you what the consequences are.  But economic knowledge will become increasingly obsolete as our money becomes more worthless and worthless and the ruling class and the Federal Reserve keep printing money.  That’s why I feel it is important to secure your piece of land sooner than later.  Before you know it, there will be no more land available that any average American can afford.  It’s sad, really, but what can we do?

We need a shift in consciousness, but I don’t see it happening until enough Americans are uncomfortable enough.  When one-third or even a quarter of our populatin becomes homeless, there will be a fucking revolution.  But who knows if the government will just massacre all of them in camps?  It’s been done before with the Native Americans and the Japanese Americans.  So what’s to stop them again?  Like I’ve said before, we have no rights.  They aren’t rights if they can be taken away like “that.”  And it will happen.  George W. Bush already shredded the Constitution, so what’s stopping the next crop of elites?  So, get on that land as soon as possible, even though it can very easily be taken away from you for no reason at all.  It’s the right thing to do.

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Self-Help is Destruction

Monday, March 30th, 2009

Writing on this blog as of late has been a joy for me, finally getting out some thoughts I’d kept inside for a long time.  A couple of years ago, my blog was a carbon-copy self-help blog, but now it’s something that I actually feel good about, even if readership has slightly dropped off.  I got away from the run-of-the-mill self-help blog because, first of all, it’s too common on the Internet and I would just get lost in the cracks, not to mention that I would be every self-help junkie’s drug for the day, which helps no one, except for them in the short-term.  Self-help starts with the basic assumption that “you are not good enough and your life isn’t good enough, so we’re going to show you how to make it better.  Better by our standards, but better nonetheless.  We are going to throw around obscure terms like autonomy and consciousness and use them at every turn so that we can sound sophisticated and intelligent and bullshit you to your goals.  We are going to give you pointless exercises to do to help you decide what kind of worker drone you want to be.  You are an extraordinary being put here by the spirit world to succeed at whatever it is you put your mind to.”  And it just goes on like that.

That type of thinking is a mistake and it is certainly not for me.  It is completely delusional.  Most of these self-help gurus haven’t accomplished anything other than becoming a self-help guru.  Not only that, but if someone isn’t even what they claim to be, then why bother and take their advice.  I could put out articles about how I ran a marathon and I lost 100 lbs., but how would you know whether or not I actually did it?  I could say I graduated college in 3 semesters, or that I eat a completely 100% raw diet, but you’re not here to confirm that.  Most of these people exaggerate their lives to prop themselves up above the rest of the field.  They become almost cult objects, where people wonder what their opinion on everything is.  What’s Tony Robbins’ opinion on abortion?  What’s Steve Pavlna’s opinion on pornography?  Who cares?  They’re not some omnipotent being here.  They are people who have milked the self-help teet for their own personal gain under the guise that they really love to help people.

These types of people live in a fantasy world, where they actually believe the whole world is right in front of them to serve their purposes, like they are some kind of God.  That they can do whatever they want because they are the lords of the Earth.  They claim to eschew materialism while they are constantly buying new cars and computers, to feed their undying lust for consumerism.  They figure that since they are in the top 1% of the world’s wealth, why not make the other 99% have less while we keep writing bullshit articles about stuff that truly doesn’t matter, other than to make people with low self-esteem feel good and we get paid handsomely for the inauthentic drivel we put out.  They use the world as their oyster, yet they say they have compassion for all living things.

This whole idea that they convey:  We can all have more.  That is the biggest mistake of them all.  Isn’t that what’s killing us in the first place.  More, more, more, until there’s nothing left.  Self-help gurus will say to put yourself in an abundance mindset and then  everyone can have more, but the facts say differently.  Oil is running out, iron is running out, trees are running thin.  Not everyone deserves their own house.  Steve Pavlina hardly ever talks to his parents.  Tony Robbins, who used to talk about how to create a fulfilling relationship, just divorced his wife.  What self-help gurus do is isolate themselves to people who agree with them, and they are living in what I would call a sub-world.  They don’t deal with people who contradict them and when someone does, they ignore it or praise that person for giving them marketing.  They feed the addictions of the self-help junkies by telling them what they want to hear, but never giving them enough information to really make anything actionable happen.

I realize that this entire post is just bashing a very small subset of the population, and it is probably not so relevant.  But these people have thousands if not millions of loyal followers, much like a cult.  They encourage people to destroy more of the Earth to fulfill their materialistic fantasies instead of becoming human again.  Saying that everyone should live the way these gurus do is so dangerous that it would probably put the human race on the verge of extinction.  I’m only bashing them because their worldview, that you can have everything you’ve ever wanted, is not mentally sound because if that were the case, then everyone would be a self-help blogger, 6 billion people blogging on the Internet about how starving sucks because no one was on a low enough plane to go out and either grow or find food.

Unfortuneately, our society depends on people not making their full potential.  We need people to grow food (not really, but in today’s barren landscape, yes).  We need them to build alienating devices like the automobile and computers.  Why don’t these self-help gurus talk about taking the whole system down?  Why don’t they talk about revolution? Because they’ve willed themselves to the top of society and someone at the top will never give up that position.  It is the only position that’s better than living like we used to, as hunter-gatherers.  And there’s a reason why such a small percentage of people ever get that high.  The people at the top suppress those below them because that means more unnecessary resources for them and less for the people below them.  If they were to strip the system down to how we were thousands of years ago, then they would lose all the perks they used to have, stolen perks.  Stolen in the sense of tracing back through history, when we used to belong to the land, and now we’ve stolen all of it.  Everything we own comes from the Earth, so in fact we have stolen it.  It doesn’t matter how much we’ve paid for it, it’s still stolen.  How many animals and habitats were stolen from the world in the name of progress?  In the name of self-help guru encouraged progress?  When some loser reads Lifehack.org and becomes more and more technical and ends up becoming the programmer of a new software and buys a brand new house built on ancient burial grounds of the Hopi Indians or in the middle of a forest, why doesn’t anyone think of the habitat that’s being destroyed?  Because most of these people are in a delusional fantasy that they can have whatever they want at the expense of others and other creatures.  “This is America, damn it!  I deserve 100 acres of land to do with as I please!  It’s MY land!”

It’s partly about money because money=power.  Money or violence equals power.  And in this sick and pathological society, the more power people have, the more they feed into the system, by dominating more land, having more material things, and contributing more and more to the destruction of the ecosystem and the whole world as we know it.  This is why I don’t feel like writing self-help blogs anymore.  Even the whole spirituality paradigm is rooted in hierarchy, where some people feel that they are on a higher plane than you.  Give me a break.  It shouldn’t be all about status-climbing.  That isn’t what life and afterlife are all about.  Getting more and more power and more and more dominance is not mentally healthy.  It’s totally destructive.  And anyone who is sane will realize that all this progress is for nothing because the human race, staying on this current track, will destroy itself and keep crashing and burning until the entire race goes extinct completely unless we figure out a way to live indefinitely, with no progress, with stable populations, and no conquests.  Not to mention no agriculture.  I just hope everyone sees self-help for what it is: Encouragement for more destruction of the Earth while feeling good about it.  Or as Tyler Durden said, “Self-improvement is masturbation.”

If you found this post funny, insightful, helpful, or throught-provoking, feel free to donate to my site.

Posted in Anti-establishment, Rants, Theories | 1 Comment »

There is No Life After Death

Friday, March 27th, 2009

When you die, you just rot in the ground.  True story.  Sure, we may exist in some nonphysical form after death, but we’re not really sure what that is.  I wouldn’t call it life after death, but spirit after death.  Personally, I’ve never talked to a spirit, so I have no idea if we even exist at all after death.  I did speak to my great aunt and uncle once on a Ouiji board and what they said was something that only we would know.  So maybe there is some sort of spirit world up there, but I wouldn’t call it life, but more floating.  But I don’t know for sure because I’m not dead yet.  Talking to spirits could be an act of our subconscious, too.  Maybe we imagine talking to a dead relative.  It could all be in our heads.  And people like John Edward could just be picking up on the person he’s reading for by reading that person’s mind.  It could be that there are no spirits, or that spirits only exist on Earth, and not in the ether.  It’s really hard to know either way.

While it’s true that part of us could exist beyond our physical life, it is also very possible that this is false.  It is very possible that we just rot in the ground.  None of us lives on or still exists.  Is that a delusion or is that we live on a delusion?  How can we know for sure?  Many people claim they can speak to spirits, but how do we know it is for real unless we’ve actually spoken to spirits ourselves?  I’ve heard stories that made me think that we do live on and can come back and they were very convincing.  Perhaps just the idea of believing in life after death makes it true.  Perhaps not believing in it filters our beliefs such that we never have an experience talking to a spirit, and if we do, we discount it as something else, something more logical.  How can we decipher this so that we know for sure?  For me, the only way is to die.  Even if I am communicating with spirits, how do I know that they’re not just all in my head, like a schizophrenic?

We could try seeing this problem from different perspectives.  Let’s say that you die and no part of you exists.  Then there is no perspective.  There is no lens after you are dead.  You’ve ceased to exist entirely.  Then there is the perspective of that you survive as a conscious something and can continue developing your consciousness and experiencing something to some extent.  It’s hard to know what really goes on once you die, but believing that you exist in some form is certainly more empowering than believing you just rot in the ground and disappear from the entire universe.  Everyone has their beliefs about what happens when they die.  And if they’re wrong, the side that thinks nothing happens who end up living on after death will be surprised and the people who believe that there is life after death and end up not existing will not know it because they will cease to exist.  So believing in life after death really has no unexpected consequences because if there is no life after death, you won’t be there to realize it.  But if you don’t believe in it and it ends up that there is life after death, you will be wrong and you will know it.

So it makes more sense to believe that there is life after death.  People that don’t believe in it could be setting themselves up for a big surprise once the grim reaper comes and gets them.  What we know for sure is that all our physical stuff stays here.  What we also know is that our body stays here.  All that could survive is our consciousness.  Everything else turns to dust.  So maybe the reason why we are here is to develop our consciousness.  If that’s the only thing we could possibly ever take with us once we bite the bullet, then it seems that it is the only important thing to hold onto.  If your whole being on Earth is rooted in the termporary and physical, that is a guaranteed recipe for suffering.  It could all be temporary, but we don’t know that for sure until we die.  And it seems a bit more reassuring and empowering to choose that some part of us will still exist in the nonphysical realm than to submit to the grim possibility that we will never exist again.  But that is still a possibility, but if it happens, we won’t be around to have second thoughts about it.

It could also be possible that whatever you believe is what happens when you die.  Who really knows?  You would have to ask a dead person, so if you are a psychic or a channeler, then maybe you can give us a solid answer, but it would still be skeptical until we actually die.

Edit:   This post came about because I realized I was neglecting my spiritual side. Being so fixed on the physical world and its problems for so long on this blog kind of burnt me out on that topic, so I took a different avenue and I hope to explore more spiritual issues in the coming posts.

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Agriculture Ruined the World

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

You heard it here, folks.  Agriculture ruined the world and continues to do so.  Before agriculture, we had constraints on our population and on our dominance.  All our food was just enough for the population that was there.  We did not say the Earth belongs to us, but rather that we belonged to the Earth.  I read in the book Ishmael that 99.8% of the world’s population was added in the last 10,000 years, exactly around the time that we started dominating the land instead of living off of it.

Why was this?  Because creating more food led to more people, and then food production was increased, which led to more people, and so on until we got to where we are today, with hyperinflated cities and towns with central authority and heirarchy that was all made possible through the advent of agriculture.  One book I suggest reading on this whole issue is called Against the Grain by Richard Manning.  I already knew most of what he wrote about, but there were some new information that I had never considered before.  In order to understand what a big problem agriculture is and how unnatural it has become today just to sustain and grow our population more, get the book and read it.

Agriculture forced our populations to grow and to concentrate because the food was only in one place and it had destroyed the forests that used to exist there, so it left us completely dependent on it.  Not only that, it concnetrated populations so much that central authority was the only way for there to be any order, creating a necessary evil that still lurks today.  And also, since grains fed opiate receptors in our brains, we became addicted to agriculture.  And finally, it enhanced our need to dominate more land to feed our expanding population, which in turn created more people and then more food and so on.

This is exactly why feeding starving children in Africa will only make the overpopulation problem worse.  When humans or any other animal feels like they are going to die and their whole tribe is starving, they reproduce more to ensure that at least some of the children survive, and then we feed them with food from a farm in Nebraska, making populations larger and more mouths to feed.  In pre-agriculture, the bounty at the hunter-forager’s feet was enough to sustain a certain population, but no more.  If the population ever got out of balance, then some of the people would die off.  Getting out of balance had a price and it kept all living things around instead of the mass extinctions we are seeing imposed by humans.  We have no right to just kill off millions  of species because we are only thinking about ourselves and no other animal.

It’s a sick world since we started civlization.  It really is.  And even if there is a crash, who’s to say that we won’t start another agriculture and another civilization?  There’s no stopping it unless we realize that the way we live is wrong and that it is very, very destructive to all biological life, including humans.  Look at the pollution that civlization has caused.  Look at the corporate giants who love to dump things that destroy ecosystems.  Are they held responsible?  No.  But that doesn’t really matter right now.  What matters is we get out of this system.  Moving back to the hunter-forager way of life is simple and will allow our population to get down to a sustainable level, a permanent state in which humans can exist for millions more years.  We’ve only been in agriculture for 10,000 years and we’ve been around for about 3 million.  Why don’t we scrap the whole agricultural industrial complex and allow the Earth to heal itself so we can go back to being what it truly means to be human?  Why are we still addicted to the drug of civlization, allowing it to take us to our deaths?

When Jesus said we should immitate the birds and bees, he was being very profound, but he was no savior.  The people never did go “back” to immitating every other creature in the world.  I put the word back in quotes because back is relative.  We could call it forward to being ourselves again.  Jesus knew how we were supposed to live, but nobody got the message.  And those who did never acted upon it.  But it shows how bad life was even back then that we felt we needed a savior.  To be saved from what?  Society created through agriculture.  It was a hell world back then and it’s a hell world now.  Why do you think people look forward to the apocalypse?  They hate this shitty world and they want to get out of it.  Why are movies like The Road Warrior popular?  Because we fantasize about a world with no trees where we are outside fighting for something that matters instead of checking account balances and filing legal documents.  The civilized world has become boring and predictable and we are either subconsciously or consciously bringing it down purposely because we know in our bones that this is not the way we were meant to live.

We don’t have to scrap our intelligence and become animals in the sense that we don’t communicate or accomplish anything, but it would help if we just started by living off the bounty of the Earth instead of creating more and more food through dominating the Earth, creating billions of people that shouldn’t be here if we had stayed in balance.

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Posted in Anti-establishment, Inspiration, Intentions, Nature, Rants, Simplicity, Theories | No Comments »

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