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Give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change. Give me the corage to change the things I do not like. And give me the wisdom to know the difference between the two. I guess that is some prayer from either Christianity or Cahtolicism. It goes something like that. And it is a very powerful quote, as it talks about acceptance vs. denial in a way that I believe we all can relate to.

We all have things in our lives we do not like or wish to change. There are some things we have power to change, while others may or may not be within reach, at least at this point in time. The wisdom to know the difference is a journey in self-exploration. We have to look at ourselves objectively sometimes to see what it is we should change, if anything, as life is an ongoing process of evolution. There are some things you cannot change about yourself or your environment, at least at your state of awareness. There are others you think you cannot change, but could with some hard work and perseverence.

If you are six hundred pounds and do not think you will ever lose the weight, that you just have to accept yourself the way you are, I encourage you to look at all the experiiences you are missing out on because of your large stature. Look at how you have to buy two ariplaine tickets if you would like to fly. Realize that anything is possible. And you may not be able to change the things you want right now, but as life moves on, these things could very well become possible. I have heard the story a thousand times before, “The doctor said I would never walk again. But here I am walking.” Just because the odds are stacked against you, that does not mean you have to succumb to apathy and learned helplessness.

And do not deny what you are getting either. You have to accept the truth in all parts of your life. It is only when we accept the truth that we are able to grow further. It does not make sense to lie to yourself on a consistent basis to hold up this facade that has a very weak foundation to it, eventually crumbling. You lower your awareness when you lie. It is obvious that the last statement is true because you are trying to convince yourself that something you are not experiencing is true. So the first step to acceptance is truth, and the second step to changing or choosing to accept your situation is coming to terms with it, and letting it be a part of you once again.

No matter how bad or good a person you are, self-acceptance and self-worth are to big keys to a fulfilling life. When you fully and unconditionally accept yourself, you become more open to possibilities to improve yourelf. It does sound a bit counter-intuitive, but because you accept yourself no matter what, you are no longer afraid to try the activities you were previously fearful of doing. Unconditional acceptance is the answer, but if something is not the way you wish it to be, go ahead and move towards changing it.

As a personal example, in my life, I no longer find my job interesting or fulfilling. I am so close to muttering the words, “I quit,” but the repercussions from my family may be something like this, “You can’t quit your job until you have another one.” Well, moving towards not having a job is nice, at least for me, as I intend to start a business in the near future, although the full details of that business are not yet on paper. I intend to cut down on my consumption in order to build up money to start this business eventually. The only thing that is really holding me back is the people around me, the people who will tell me that I will probably fail, and that may be true, but the experience will be worth it. I have to learn to let go of outcomes, which I am now practicing and will practice for the remainder of my life. Attachment to anything is the root of all suffering anyway. Make no appointment and you’ll have no disappointments. Lower your expectations, but still do whatever it is you want to do. Accept the outcome, and move on from there. That is all I have to say.

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We all long for a place we like to call home, a place where we feel secure, and nothing can harm us. Home is where the heart is, as well as the spirit. But where is home? And how do we get there? I am not talking about the place where you grew up, more of a spiritual home, a place where you feel at rest, in total harmony with everything around you. I guess it is hard to describe in words, as it is more of a feeling. A place where we feel at peace with everything. I wish I could describe the feelings I have about this place, this destination, that we all long to go to someday. Could it be a heaven of sorts? Maybe. I know such a place exists, I just have to experience it firsthand. And the process is going on now. One with the world and all of that good stuff.

Here is the thing. Once you realize you are a spiritual being having a physical experience, it should put some of your fears to rest. I guess it is hard for some people to conceptualize this, as they constantly look for proof. I say the proof is within, an all-knowing self inside every one of us. This is a tool I am using to try and rid myself of fear. If I look at my physical body as simply a vehicle my spirit is using temporarily to experience the world as it is today, I can somewhat let go of the whole mortality thing, and just allow myself to experience life as it comes, do what it is I want, and pass onto something else when my vehicle “runs out of gas.” If you view life in this way, or in a way like it is some sort of dream, which is also a possibility, you somehow are no longer afraid. Nothing can really harm your spirit, the only part of you that it eternal, so everything you do and experience is less fearsome.

However, I would not recommend behaving too recklessly at this point. Do not do things that will have negative consequences in physical reality because that will only inhibit your spiritual progress. I believe we are all here for a reason. Maybe we do not know what the reason is, but we do know inherently right from wrong. We can make decisions that will lead us towards progress or we can go on a destructive path. Every thought, every action, is a choice. And once we realize that, it makes choosing to live an ideal life easier. It still is not simple, but it gets easier every day.

Knowing that no matter how bad your physical body becomes in terms of condition, that your spirit remains immortal is a key to everlasting prosperity. Look at people like Hellen Keller and Steven Hawkins. These are people who have been dealt some tough lives and yet still have made a difference in the world. There is something inside them that allowed these people to make a difference in the world. Some internal force that we still have not come to understand completely, except on a completely intrinsic level. I believe “going home” symbolizes the complete realization that we are more than just our physical bodies, that life, or existence, does go on after our physical bodies pass away. Otherwise, what is the meaning of life but to peddle products and keep the world turning?

There is a part of you that is spiritual in nature and one of the best things you can do is get to know that person. Some people call it their higher self, others intuition, but whatever you call it, it is something special to get it touch with this part of you. If you don’t believe in this sort of stuff, then that is exactly what you will percieve. But if you open yourself up just a little bit to this idea, you will start to “get it.” These words may be here in the physical world, but they were spawned from the spiritual realm, a collection of subconscious thought and spiritual wisdom that only my higher self and I could have possibly put together. I encourage you to do the same, as it has worked wonders for me. I am still not 100% on the whole reality theory, but every day I seem to get closer in closer to thinking that reality is almost 100% subjective. We shall see. Good day.

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I recently came upon a term called equanimity, which means your mind is not swayed by external events and you do not let situations dictate the state of your mind.  It’s a state of calming balance, and inner peace.  The whole concept is that everything is impermanent, feeling good, feeling bad, feeling pleasure/pain, getting praise/blame, and success vs. failure.  That all are essential in human life, and none of them are permanent.  It is this realization that can put you on the path towards equanimity.  I believe this is a very strong goal to strive for, having myself remain calm even under stressful circumstances or when something does not go my way.

It is not a state of indifference, but a state of intense realization.  You do not have any stock in your current circumstances because you know they can change at any moment, and you are content with that.  You accept everything the way it is and don’t get caught by pressures put on you by society.  You don’t have to react.  You just don’t.

There are ten perfections in Buddhism, the first nine leading up to the coveted tenth, equanimity.  Here are them and a brief description of each:

1. Generosity:  Develop your capacity for generosity.  Make it so your disposition or nature is to be generous.
2. Integrity:  Develop your integrity, do not seek to harm any other living being.  Make it so the ethical foundation of your life is stable, solid, and unruffled.
3. Letting Go:  Develop the capacity to let go, for example, to let go of a grudge, because when you let go of the things that trouble you, you can do deeper thinking.  A simpler mind can do deeper work.
4. Wisdom:  Develop a capacity for wisdom.  Become a wise man, not a wise guy.  Be discerning, whatever that means.  I’ll have to look it up.
5. Energy:  Develop a capacity for overcoming laziness, procrastination, and interia, be able to put in the effort.
6. Patience:  Develop a capacity for patience.  If you are now putting in effort, it is possible to get frustrated, so this perfection is based on not getting frustrated when things don’t always work the way they should.
7. Truth:  Develop a capacity to be truthful and know what is true to you.  Be in harmony with what you feel is true.
8. Resolve:  Resolve to do things and have the capacity to get behind it, no matter what external forces tell you.
9. Love and Kindness:  Develop a capacity for love and kindness and be kind and loving towards everything and everyone you come into contact with.
10. Equanimity:  The final step.  Develop a capacity of equanimity.  This is the culmination of the other nine steps.  All of these steps are part of your character building and this is the final step.  This is the pinnacle.  You are not ruffled by external events, as I explained above.

So, that’s the basic outline of equanimity.  I think it is a rather good goal.  I am striving towards it every day and it couldn’t hurt to do so.  All of these qualities are qualities I would love to see in myself, so there is no conflict in me doing this.  I listened to a talk about this, referred from a poster on Steve Pavlina’s site.  I really enjoyed the talk, and if I can find the link, I’ll get it to you.  Happy trails!

Edit:  I found this talk on equanimity very helpful.  Here it is, if the link does not work, I can refer you to this site.  It’s the Steve Pavlina discussion board, where the member Mike-2 brings this talk up.  I sure hope you enjoy it.  Thank you.

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